Raising Hope for Emma Lee Stewart

Merry Christmas from The Stewarts and a little gift from Emma Lee

2011-12-25T16:28:00.004-04:00

Hello Everyone,

Hoping this holiday season has found you near your family and friends.

A strange day at the Stewart house, full of many firsts. Hanging fewer stockings and setting one less place at the table.

Today during the gift exchange my father brought down a box that came to the house a few weeks before my mothers passing. While she was in Halifax receiving her radiation treatment she wandered down to visit our friend Adriana at Argyle Fine Art and admire the many beautiful pieces they had at the gallery that spring day.

She fell in love with a mixed medium boat. The boat of "Joy"...

This was unbeknownst to us. Until the CD Release at The Carleton when Adriana informed me she had something to donate to our Silent Auction, it was a boat because apparently my mother had fallen in love with these works of art. I still remained clueless about the situation.

So today, my father marched downstairs with the box. Upon their arrival my mother said "Put these upstairs, don't bring them down- they are Christmas presents".

We waited until the end of the exchange, slightly nervous for what was sitting in the box for us. Lee declined opening them... So after much debacle trying to get these gifts open- the final wrapper came off and we were holding "Becky's Boats". The ship of Love, Joy, and Hope.

A beautiful final gift from my mother and 3 treasures we will hold dear.

With love to you and yours this holiday season- wishing you a wonderful 2012.

Sincerely,

Mary Stewart

Tribue To Emma Lee Stewart at Music Nova Scotia Awards Gala 2011

2011-11-08T10:58:00.002-04:00

Hello Friends,

I just wanted to thank our friends at Music Nova Scotia for including a tribute to my mother in their Gala awards show. I have included the speech my father read at the show. They projected a beautiful slide show, and played "Send Someon For Me" (Track 15)

Enjoy

Mary

November 6th, 2011

Thirty years ago I was working as a sound tech for the group Granfalloon, 5 guys from Northern Nova Scotia. One day I was called to a band meeting where I was told they had invited a Pictou County native to return to the area and join the group. When I found out that they had invited a girl my response was “are you nuts!! She’s is going to change everything!! “. In hindsight those words ring true.

Emma Lee Stewart was a singer, a songwriter, an actor, director, producer, wife and mother. She was also:

Founding Chair of the New Glasgow Jubilee
Chaired the New Glasgow Music Festival
New Glasgow 125 Celebrations
Breast Cancer Action Nova Scotia
Citizens Against Pollution
She was a:
Choir Director, Worship Coordinator
A Board Member Tearman Society for Abused Women, Coastline Theatre, New Glasgow Dragon Boat Society
CBC Radio Community Contact for New Glasgow
Co founder of Postcard Players Theatre Company

In 2006 Emma Lee realized her lifelong dream of releasing her first CD. “The Reason” was launched in September of that year and included tracks penned by Matt Minglewood, Ron Hynes, Enoch Kent, Sylvia Tyson as well as 6 of her own songs. She was receiving airplay in New Glasgow, Truro on CBC, plans were in place for shows in PEI, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick all seemed to be falling into place. However, 4 days before Christmas (the longest night of the year) Emma Lee was diagnosed with breast cancer.

In January of 07 she underwent surgery, in March chemo and in May radiation, which took place in Halifax. While in Halifax staying at the Cancer Society’s Lodge that Gives and undergoing treatment she heard about a casting call for a film being shot in Halifax, they were looking for women that were in cancer treatment to make up the support group in scenes of the film “Matters of Life and Dating”, she was able to schedule her radiation treatments around the shooting and spent a week in Halifax as a “paid actress”. Upon returning to New Glasgow she began to resume her life but this time with a focus on exercise and diet. She discovered dragon boating and joined the Women Alike A Breast a River Dragon Boat Team, this was a passion she enjoyed until May of this year.

In the fall of 2007 she decided she wanted to give back to the Canadian Cancer Society’s Lodge That Gives and made contact with them and with the help of family and friends organized the 1st Reason for Hope Concert on her birthday November 13th. The event realized $11,000.00 the largest single donation “The Lodge” had ever received. With that event the Reason for Hope Society was created. All seemed to be once again falling into place Emma Lee received 2 Music Nova Scotia nominations, she resumed her legal career (did I mention she had 25 year career with the largest law firm in Northern Nova Scotia?) was once again performing, writing, organizing and dreaming.

Three more Reason’s for Hope were organized with funds being raised for the Aberdeen Hospital and Breast Cancer Action Nova Scotia. The first recordings were completed for along planned Christmas Album, she was working out at the “Y”, doing Spin Class, Dragon boating, travelling and enjoying life when in May of 2010 we received a call and were summoned to her doctors office where we were told her cancer had returned as Metastatic Breast Cancer and we would meet with her Oncologist in the near future to discuss treatment. This we both were convinced just a set back and a similar treatment as in the past would have all back too normal. This was not the case as what we found was that Metastatic Breast Cancer is treatable however is not curable. This was for the moment overwhelming, as at no time was the prospect of an incurable disease ever in our thoughts.

We began to learn more about the disease; Emma Lee researched and found a conference-taking place in Indianapolis and as there were no Canadian programs available to assist her with funding to attend approached the American Susan B. Koman Foundation and received a grant to cover her travel, accommodation and registration. She returned from the conference with optimism as she had met women that have been living with her disease for as long as 28 years. She began chemotherapy treatment in July of 2010, continued to paddle with her team and tried to live her life in as normal a way as possible. She became more involved with Breast Cancer Action Nova Scotia and was an inspiration to others diagnosed with the disease.

One day during that summer Emma called and told me she had been talking to our daughter Mary and that she had been in touch with a number of her musical friends in Nova Scotia and Toronto and she was putting together a CD to raise funds for Metastatic Breast Cancer Research, 2 weeks later Emma was in Codapop Studios recording a song for the project. Her rendition of the Cindy Church/ Kaitlin Hanford song “Send Someone for Me” is track 15 on the Reason for Hope CD Project.

On July 14th 2010 Emma Lee began to blog perhaps not on a daily basis but very close to it. She wrote about her treatment, her friends, her family, her dog Honey, her observations on life. Over the next 14 months the followers of her blog increased, to this day we have no idea how many she touched with her words but I would like to share with you one of her entry’s.

This morning I had a fabulous conversation with a dear friend. He reminded me of the energy of love that has been surrounding me and my family throughout this journey. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I am every day reminded of it. But, I think as you have gathered, I’m not feeling well and when I’m not feeling well, it’s hard for me to focus. Really, really hard. It is something I am trying to come to terms with. In the dark of night, I call upon all of the energy that is surrounding me to become a part of me, to fill me and take away all negative energy. I cry for that to happen. So today, I’m crying for all the positive to fill me. And that positive is love. That’s what happened in the hammock in the back 40.

As I was laying under my trusty old maple tree with the sun shining through at just the right angle to see a spider’s web in all its glory and to watch the sun dance on the leaves of that tree, like drops of sunshine really, silently raining down on me, I felt love filling me up. I was taken away somewhere and for a couple of hours, I felt fabulous. Love. Can you pull it up? Can you imagine it? The love that fills this universe? The energy of love that fills this universe? There were children happily playing and a dog barking (in the distance) and the world seemed just right for a long while. Now that is a memory that I am going to replay over and over again, and hope that tomorrow it will happen all over again.

Peace to you all. Get out there and experience the love in this universe. Open your hearts and minds and pull it all in: accept it, its there for us, for all of us.

The Reason For Hope November 13th

2011-10-31T12:10:00.003-03:00

Hello Friends,

Please share with all your family and friends and lets make this fundraiser a wonderful celebration of my mother's life, and work for this cause.

Silent auction donations include an autographed guitar, a nights stay at The Delta Halifax, DaLish Cosmetics (Cosmetics made for celebrities!) and much more!

Press Release
For Immediate Release

A Reason for Hope Continues

The 5th annual Reason for Hope will take place on Sunday November 13th, 7:30PM at New Glasgow’s Glasgow Square Theatre. This year’s event will be one of mixed emotion as it will mark the first since the passing of founder Emma Lee Stewart. It was her wish that the event continue with its mandate which is to increase public awareness, raise funds and educate in all areas of cancer prevention, awareness and care.

This year’s event will feature performances by Music Nova Scotia Award Nominee Mary Stewart, ECMA nominee Doris Mason, Music Nova Scotia Award winner Ryan Cooke and a special guest appearance by East Coast music icon Matt Minglewood.

Since its inception the Reason for Hope has raised in excess of $20,000 for cancer related initiatives including the Lodge that Gives, Aberdeen Hospital and Breast Cancer Action Nova Scotia. Funds raised at this year’s Reason for Hope Concert will be directed to Metastatic Breast Cancer Research. “It was Emma Lee’s wish that fund raising efforts be directed to research in this area as it directly affects approximately 25 percent of persons diagnosed with breast cancer” said organization spokesperson Jim Stewart.

The evening will feature a “Silent Auction” as well as a number of “Door Prizes”. The evening will be hosted by New Glasgow Singer Songwriter Mary Stewart..

Also performing will be local favourites Jakki Rogue and The Alcorns.

Sponsors of the Reason for Hope include Presenting Sponsor- Mac, Mac & Mac, Major Sponsors Fraser & Hoyt, 94.1 East Coast FM and Moosehead Breweries, Intermediate Sponsors Wearwell Garments, Comfort Inn, Country Inns & Suites, Holiday Inn Express and Long & McQuade,.

Tickets are $20 and go on sale on Monday October 31st at Trinity United Church, H&R Music and Glasgow Square Theatre.

-30 –

For more information contact TheReasonForHopeCD@gmail.com

Interment, O'Leary

2011-09-19T10:59:00.007-03:00

Good Morning,

Just wanted to let you know that the adventure continues.

Last Friday we gathered with friends and family at HeatherDale Cemetery for the interment service. Jim Webber Cook was there by our side as friends came together for a final goodbye. Shortly after we had a small gathering at the house for some good food, conversation, and a little bit of music.

Saturday, we set sail for O'Leary, PEI- on the busiest, rockiest boat! It was incredible. The wind had cancelled the 8am boat, so it was lucky we got on at all (3rd last car on the boat!). We made the drive to the west end of the island with a short stop in Clinton to pick up Tessa.

Upon arrival we were greeted by my Great Aunt Merna, who was married to my Great Uncle Claude. She welcomed us into my cousin Joanne's cottage at West Point. What a beautiful cottage!! It had a 180 view surrounding it. David and I got to watch the sun sink into the water. Tessa took some photo's of the scenery so we will post a picture of the sunset for my mother in the coming days. No one saw sunsets like she did. We sat around the campfire and played Great Uncle Claud's guitar with Merna and her son Josh before calling it a night.

Sunday we set sail on "The Knotty Lady" with : Great Aunt Merna, Great Aunt Shirley, Cousins: Click, Brenda, Joyce, Faye. Friends Paul Wood and Treena. Paul recently lost his wife to cancer so we were honoured he joined us on this voyage. We departed from West Point harbour and sailing out to the light house where we stopped the boat and told stories about my mother, we then symbolically scattered her ashes into the straight. We took a moment before everyone tossed pink carnations into the water. Paul and Merna then tossed 2 carnations in for Paul's late wife. On the way back to the docks, we formed a ribbon in the water in honour of Emma Lee and The Reason For Hope.

After the outing we gathered back at Great Aunt Merna's with family to enjoy some hot coffee, sandwiches and sweets on the Glenwood Pond.

A long drive back to New Glasgow with a short stop to drop Tessa off; she is moving to France tomorrow for a few months!

Paddles Up

2011-09-16T11:11:00.003-03:00

Last evening my father, brother, and I were so fortunate to be able to go out with my mothers paddling friends. It was a very emotional time, from the moment they said "Paddles Up" - they were paddling for Emma Lee.

They suggested they do a race for her. Over the last week we have been hearing "Emma had a mean face when she paddled" she just went in the zone and she wanted to win.

After the first race we ended up on the north side of the bridge, her friends lined the walking pass holding pink carnations and all of the ladies in the boat held pink carnations, before they placed them into the water in memory of my mother we symbolically scattered her ashes in the East River.

We then went further down the river and took a moment outside of Glasgow Square Theatre where she spent so much of her time at.

I thought I would include a photo of the pink carnations in the water.

Sincerely,

Mary

The Service, The Visitation, The Outpouring

2011-09-13T13:26:00.003-03:00

"I had never thought I would be in such need, but here I am" - Emma Lee, September 5th 2011.

I thought I would share the events with you from the last few days. You have requested in numbers for this blog to remain active, and for this blog to be immortalized in book form. I will try to make these wishes happen for you, and my mother.

My mother had a way of reaching people, that I can only hope to carry a fraction of.

So lets take you back over the last week. The main thing you will note is that we waited, we took our time. You may remember over the last few months my mothers vocabulary started to involve a certain word "Proper". We did it proper.

We were so lucky that my mother, being the realist was a planner until the end. Before her trip to Maui, she sat with Jim Webber Cook (Trinity United Church) and gave him a program, covered with her handwriting she wrote "Wow!" above the scripture she wanted, circled the information on the Taize, included 2 hymns with exclamation, and one hymn with (Maybe?) . So "maybe"- you were scrapped and we put in "From Now On" written by my mother, inspired by her walks with honey, and performed at Maritime Conference 2011.

We just had to fill in the blanks. Even until 11:59AM on Monday we were filling in the blanks. On sunday afternoon we arrived home to find a card from Linda Arsenault including a poem she had written in the summer for my mother titled "Emma's Courage". It had to be involved. So, I ran over to the church, card in hand and caught Jim Webber Cook as he was leaving for his lunch break and asked "Can this be on a screen?" Trinity made it happen.

The service started with "Somewhere Over The Rainbow/ Its a wonderful world" during my parents trip to Maui my dad and mother fell in love with "Iz" so I asked if we could include this special medley. It was an opportunity to reflect before the beginning of the service. Linda's words beamed clear while the song played.

Emma's Courage :

Emma's courage is big
It grows when it is stroked
Hot as a volcano's fire and energy
Ice cold and soothing as a mountain lake
It sleeps to nourish the soul
Awakens as calm courage
Emma's courage beckons brilliance
Lights laughter in those blue eyes
Her courage has no weight
It is like a feather
Soft and tender
Wanting to be touched
Emma's courage spreads love
It is a reason for hope.

Following this we moved into the Taize, mediation through music- and into the welcoming.

During my mothers battle, she found comfort in candles. So I asked if we could light some candles during the ceremony in honour of my mother. So we lit : The Christ Candle (Jim Webber Cook) The Candle of Community ( Janet Erving) , The Candle of Memory (John and Mary Boulter) , The Candle of Music (" Aunt Liz " - Elizabeth Van DenEden ), The Candle of Peace( Lorne Boulter) , The Candle of Love (Jim Stewart), The Candle of Thanksgiving (Lee Stewart) , and The Candle of Hope (Myself, Mary) .

The special music was "His Eye is On The Sparrow". What can I say about this, they sang like she was standing there beside them, it was the best I have heard their voices shine. Beautiful.

Floyd Kind joined us to do a special song for my mother- "In My Life" it was requested by my father in honour of his love for her.

We played "Send Someone For Me" rare you can perform at your own service. But, she deserved to.

David Wallace and Bruce MacIntosh gave remembrance to my dear mother. I hope they forward copies of their words so I can share them with you because I cannot give it justice.

Doris Mason sang "When Emma Sings" sitting in front of her I couldn't help but stare, I tried so hard not to look because I didn't want to throw her off. Even though Doris was an amazing friend to my mother, she was still there and able to sing the song she wrote for her on her 53rd birthday. Beautiful.

Jim WC, Jim S and Bonnie spoke beautifully throughout the service and their words were so appropriate.

It was a beautiful send off to my mother.

Following the reception, my family and David's mother and father joined at the house for a taste of The Lord Provost's Scotch. A toast before joining friends who gathered at my mom and dad's old stomping grounds "The Dock". My parents shared so many laughs with friends through the last 15 years that it only seemed appropriate.

Monday evening we sat and reflected about the day, feeling as though she would be proud and humbled by the outpouring.

So now what?

Big things ahead, going out into The Dragon Boat, Interment at Heatherdale, and off to O'Leary where my mothers family was born to fulfil her wishes.

Today we purchased http://thereasonforhope.org ! I have started a small website where I will continue to update about the fundraisers, and its a place to buy your CD! The charity will continue and the legacy will go on.

Continue sending your stories of my mother. They have been beautiful, and so comforting.

Sincerely,

Mary Stewart

Visitation and Funeral

2011-09-08T23:43:00.000-03:00

Dear Friends,

Again- I extend a sincere Thank You to everyone who has been supporting my family through this. When I say family, I mean everyone who let Emma Lee's light into their life.

We all need to lean on each other for strength at this time.

Visitation will be held at P K MacDonald Funeral Home, 536 Merigomish Road
New Glasgow, NS B2H 5E3

Saturday, September 10th, 7-9PM
Sunday, September 11th 2-4PM & 7-9PM

Funeral :
Monday, September 12th 2PM Trinity United Church Temperance Street, New Glasgow

I have spent a part of the day appreciating my moms blog. I hope you do the same. Reading through her journey for the last few months, and breathing in her words.

Another thought from my mother : " Our light is our energy - it will increase love and peace in this world. Use it for good and get ready to let it go! " August 19th, 2011.

9/ 07 at 9:07PM

2011-09-08T10:12:00.003-03:00

Dear Friends,

Sincerely you are all friends to my family at this time.

The blog brought my mother light for the last 14 months. The ability to share her words as they blossomed in her brain to family and strangers, whom all became dear friends; brought her such joy.

Initially we didn't know what she was going to write about on her home on the internet. So we said anything. Thats what she gave us. She shared her dreams, wishes, stories, and her love for everyone who has walked into her life.

I am truly thankful she was given 14 months to deliver her story to you. And there is still so much more to be shared to you from our family, and to my family. My brother, father and I are reliving memories with our mother today, but we aren't Em-experts. We welcome you to tell us something you shared with her.

Yesterday there were gleams of joy in my mothers eyes. For those of you who visited she was resting, peaceful. But a few highlights for me where when the Mac Mac and Mac Family came by for a visit. Harry held her hand and they told her stories about the performances they shared during Christmas Parties. My mother wrangled that crew into shape, in her nurturing- but very straight forward manner. While they were sharing stories- Liz (Honey's Foster Mother) started scheming to get honey into visit Emma Lee in the hospital. When Liz told her - her eyes widened and she said " Oh, great." Joy and sarcasm.- Emma.
While I was talking to her in the afternoon, I was on the way to mail a CD to Olga from CBC and I said "Don't worry- she knows, track 15 first" And she smiled, she laughed.

While Jim Webber Cook was sharing with her, he spoke of light, of hope. You could see her eyes get bigger and she exhaled, she relaxed.

The family did a bit of a rotation during the 18 hours we spent at the hospital. At 8:30, I urged my brother and father to go home and rest. My dad returned to the hospital at noon, after making calls to share the most recent development. My brother returned at 1PM care of Janet Irving, Janet- Thank you.

David and I went home to pack for the next (what we thought would be) days. During this time, my brother and father were comforted by friends who surrounded my mother. The nurse said " She is popular". My dad just laughed. The wonderful nurses had no idea. Thank you to them for letting us take over that place. In the short time the news spread, there were about 40 of you who made your way in, more who called. We are sorry we didn't have more time to let you spend with her.

At 8:55PM I felt it coming, I told my dad that it was time for us to have our one on one with her. He let me go first, I was so lucky to sit with her, reassure her that its not for nothing - she will help to change lives. She has already helped to change lives. That I will share her story, that I can't wait to tell her future grandchildren about her, that I am proud to be her daughter. Many thoughts I shared. Around 9, I noticed changes, I got the nurse. She gathered us around and said it would be anytime. Surrounded by love she went. She fought for so long, she is now in peace.

I called Mary Webber Cook, our minster's wife. To share the news, Jim (Our Minster, such a dear friend) was there within minutes. We had her in our circle while he sent her spirit off.

I will leave you with words from Emma Lee Stewart (Sister, Wife, Mother- Friend)

"The future is uncertain. But one thing is certain: the love of my family can never be taken away; the love of friends can never be taken away; hope can never be taken away; and positive thought and gratitude for all we have can never be taken away." - Emma Lee Stewart, July 14th, 2010 in her first blog post.

With love,

Mary; Your "darling daughter."

September 6th - 7th

2011-09-07T09:03:00.002-03:00

Hello Friends,

Mary here- writing this from my broken phone so beware any grammatical errors.

A lot to say, unfortunately as I write this I am sitting at my mothers bedside at The Aberdeen Hospital.

Our hope was that she wouldn't have to come back here. Yesterday we were blessed to have wonderful RN's by the house to monitor mom- Emma - em- M- Emma lee - whichever you prefer , but we couldn't get her comfortable.

During my night shift with her we decided that the best decision was to move her ; upon doctors recommendation to ensure that she is comfortable.

Her big ones- comfort , quality of life, hope.

The outpouring we have received is humbling. I printed your words off on Monday PM and she loved it. The flowers brightened her room and she knows she is loved.

I will do my best to keep you informed on new developments.

Wishing you a beautiful day,

Mary

Jim's Birthday Cake

2011-09-05T13:56:00.004-03:00

Hello All,

Mary here- My mother just asked me to take a photo of the cake I made for my dad's 56th Birthday and post it on the blog!

Yes, a day early- However Lee's girlfriend will be heading back to PEI tonight and we wanted to have cake with her- So tomorrow I shall make a second cake!

Today's cake : Velvet Chiffon Chocolate Mint, with Chocolate Ganache and Vanilla Buttercream Icing, NS Strawberries and drizzled with dark chocolate.

Today, My mother is trying to get caught up on sleep, she had a big day with the VON who was here for over an hour making sure she was well looked after. Tuesday she begins the continuing care program which means we will get a little bit more face time with the Nurses and help for a bit of the day.

She is very excited about the chocolate cake, I put it in the living room to hopefully strike a match to her appetite. The cake also matches the flowers from her brother Lorne just lovely.

Continue to send your positive words to my mother! I am printing them off as they come.

Sincerely,

Mary

Sunday, September 4th.

2011-09-04T12:50:00.003-03:00

"Sunday - September 4th , 2011

I'm counting on you guys to tell me when I become trite. My footprint on the world is becoming smaller, and I respect you too much to take up your valuable time. When I look out the backyard all of the green tomato's we've harvested will soon be red I hope. Maybe Mary and Jim can make some tomato paste, I don't know if that is inspiring to you. But it is to me. That's a part of the light.

No Fears- Jim will have a birthday! Mary stayed with us last night and she is awesome. She can stay downstairs. Too much, I know but she is young and ready for it. Pulse alright. All this done for the day. Shawn dropped by. Not sleeping as well as I should be.

Here's what happened yesterday ( Details are sketchy..)
Murray came by with a pie.
Brother Lorne and his wife Mary came by,
Brother John and his wife Mary came by.
Mary and Tessa are back here.
David and Lee are both here.

VON dropped by, almost couldn't get my blood pressure.
Jim Webber Cooke dropped by.
Heather MacLean dropped by with bread.
Lloyd and Gwen dropped by with fresh vegetables.
Ross and Eileen dropped by with homemade chowder and soda bread.

What can I say about the outpouring? It is most overwhelming. My heart is full of love. I never believed I would be in such need. But here I am.

Love and peace to you all today.

Emma Lee

- PS: Mary is now responsible of the blog. Between dictation and my hand writing she is translating my words to the blog. "

Shhh

2011-08-30T14:19:00.004-03:00

So Jim's birthday is the 6th. I will not be able to get him a card or anything, let alone remember that it's his birthday. The kids will be home I've got to get them involved! Chocolate cake for sure. Peace, Emma Lee

Part 2 Down

2011-08-28T17:52:00.004-03:00

Part 2 of the optional chemo is down and my oh my oh my.

Yesterday was brutal, but VON are the angels they are painted to be. Eddie. Remember that name.

Anyway, will be talking about what the third part of this silliness is before getting them to perhaps take it down a notch? I don't know. Enough said. My pressure is climbing back up and I'm feeling better a bit.

Don't want to be complaining.

Anyway, so is Irene on the way? Looks like a trop storm to move Lee HOME!!!! After all the work that has been done on this little cottage on Temperance - Lee will have to be gentle. With luck I will have him with me starting tomorrow night. Isn't that crazy? We have to get some sort of bed down here in the "dining" room, so Jim and Lee can spell off to make sure I'm okay and have what I need in the night. Starting to match pain killers to pain.

Thinking of Liz and all her animals as they get ready for the storm, knowing they will be safe too!

And watch Lord of the Rings. There are so many things said in that movie that give me inspiration. I did watch Jack Layton's memorial yesterday. Goes without saying. But it was a really, really bad day.

Alrighty then. Watch out. There's a storm on the horizon! There's a storm a'comin'! People there's a storm a'comin'! Don't be scared. You're not alone!!!!

Peace, Emma Lee

This is a Test

2011-08-27T07:09:00.002-03:00

Just a test! See you soon. More CDs coming to H&R. Emma Lee

A Few Things

2011-08-26T03:19:00.009-03:00

Don't know whether I told you all how delighted I was to arrive home the other night - oohs and aahs as I passed from room to room. Love and light.

The next morning Jim and I were sitting at the computer and Jim spilt his entire cup of coffee everywhere. So, needless to say . . . . .

Blood work went okay yesterday. Treatment today - aredia and the new chemo. I'm aching from head to toe so here we are on the pain med cycle, at long last some might say. I gave birth to both my children by natural child birth and I do believe that I have a high tolerance for pain, but it's not quite as high as what's coming on I fear.

I have all the gear right here. Yesterday when I returned home I must have slept for hours and hours . It felt wonderful, and we shall see if that now becomes the trend. Lee will be home this weekend. Mary can't get here til next.

BTW, Mary's event? Almost $3K!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that little gal? We are approaching the $10K mark folks. The goal will be reached and we will keep you informed. I thank you all for keeping those sale requests coming in and Jim is hoping to get your orders out the day we receive them.

And now again, my thanks to you. We keep coming around to that. My heart is so full of love and thanks and gratitude. What would I do without my family and friends? I am asking for patience with myself. So, if you could spare a prayer for patience, that would be great too. And, more importantly than all that, take time to express your gratitude and love for all.

Please love each!

Peace today,

Emma Lee

Good Morning Thursday!

2011-08-25T07:04:00.005-03:00

This is the sunset Tuesday night from Janice's at Seafoam. Very fitting I thought.

Seems like ages. So much has happened in the world. And in this little house. And in this little body of mine. I need to regroup. Seems anything can upset the apple cart. Bloodwork this a.m. and then rest. I will have to get in touch with my gals I was going to have luncharoo with. I really don't think I can. I'm very, very tired and aching all over. Will they forgive me? I'm on it right now. As soon as I feel well again!

The house is amazing. I need to relax now. Lee is moving home this coming Monday. Mary and Dave are coming for a visit and Tessa is coming too. The whole family will be here for a few days together. I will like that. Quiet time with my family.

Alright. They say there's a storm a coming. Be careful friends. Hopefully much ado! But if not have lots of water,etc. You will need it and be kind to your little friends. And Buckets (previously known as Puff) is an outdoor cat now!!!!!!! Yay for Buckets. Freedom - we're talking about freedom. How wonderful. Thank you Deb and Alistair!

Peace today to Jack Layton and importantly to each of us as we seek our fire, our flame and our destiny together in the light.

Emma Lee

Women Alike Photo

2011-08-22T08:08:00.004-03:00

Women Alike at the Dragon Boat festival. Beautiful picture ladies!

This could be inspiration for today.

Well, here I'm packed and I guess I'm leaving for a while. The place will be ready when I get back from bloodwork on Thursday. Always tired. Beautiful weather on the way. I'll miss Mary on BT tomorrow. Sad about that. Hopefully she can report on tonight's release. Can't wait to hear all about it. Kissing booths, dates, etc. They're having such fun. They had kind of wanted to try to stream it.

Sunshine golden. Sunshine golden. Sunshine golden.

Emma Lee

Three Days Since First Part of Treatment

2011-08-21T07:58:00.008-03:00

This is a picture of Doris singing for me at the Dragon Boat opening. I was supposed to sing, but simply was too weak! Thanks Miss Mason - you are a true gem.

Things are going well. Just some edema in my legs, but nothing to be alarmed about says trusty VON. Cup of coffee per Jim - beans from Maui ground and very, very nice. Slept a bit last night.

I'll keep you updated but I'm feeling good. Pressure is coming back to normal I think - maybe today. Flu-like gone. Coronation Street on. Kids having fun.

Maybe a drive in the future today. CDs at H&R. They're not open on Sundays, but don't be shy. All my information is there!

What song is going to sing in my heart today? We heard a lot of IZ in Maui - What a Wonderful World is one we heard again and again and it is indeed a beautiful arrangement. Perhaps that. Also listened to a Susie Vinnick CD yesterday - her and her acoustic - just amazing as well. She has some rocking' style!!!

Mission - good day today. Mission to be accomplished. Marching orders tomorrow - back for blood work on Thursday and next Aredia and treatment on Friday. I'll let VON know where I am! Girls will care for little cottage on Temperance Street. I need to get back to my story and will take my laptop to Seafoam.

Janice is the most gracious of hosts. Thank you dear lady. What a grandmother!

Peace to you all today,

Love and light and powerful energy into the world we go!

Emma Lee

P.S. Stop at LORDA - fundraiser needs your help - Shaun and Gwen and Lloyd and a host of others - should be awesome!

H&R Has CDs and our Contact Information!

2011-08-20T16:37:00.003-03:00

Yay. Downtown New Glasgow is selling Reason for Hope CDs - H&R. They have our number and some CDs so drop in and get your copy today!!!!! Located at Glasgow Square Parking Lot! Great store - friendly people - lovely day. Good day!!!!

Emma Lee

Sounds and Looks Like Fun

2011-08-20T07:12:00.007-03:00

This is my good friend Jakki Rogue who played wonderfully at my Emma's Excursion, prior to our Maui visit. Thank you Ms. Rogue - you lovely woman!

My friends are going to take over my little front room for a period of hours for me- and while they do - I'm going to the beach at Seafoam! Won't that be fun? Won't take long - this little house is indeed a wee little house and with all hands on deck it will be done before you know it! How sweet. It was one of my wishes that I get the place set. Cleared of cat and dog hair. A hospital bed arrived yesterday, just to get ready and the front room will become my sanctuary, complete with piano, guitar, CD player, TV, close to washroom, wireless, cordless phone, what else - oh yes - friends and Jim and kids and light and love! There. Completeness. I have to watch out for germs. Jim is becoming my Gandalph. If there is a Gandalph picture posted at either door, you know my resistance is down and we have to be aware of germs. If you have a cold, you certainly should just call.

Friends coming for lunch next Thursday and David was here for a great visit yesterday.

CD comp sales are going well. Information still posted here - tell your friends. This is big. Will have to make one big concerted effort to reach target though. Mary is on BT on Tuesday! Breakfast Television.

Treatment seemed to go well yesterday. Just a hint of flu-like, which I am sure will dissipate as the day goes along. Next treatment next Friday. Blood work on Thursday. Pressure still down, but I'm okay. VON will be around today if needed.

Okay. Cloudy, but still nice. Lots of bird activity out there today - must have a look around and then breakfast. Jim will be a busy boy today.

Peace to you all. Have a wonderful Saturday. It is indeed a great Saturday.

Emma Lee

Happy Friday

2011-08-19T08:15:00.011-03:00

Happy Friday

Used to have a very different meaning! Yahoo! Happy Friday and every one seemed to share in the same lament. Regardless - it's still another beaut day out there and I intend to enjoy it.

New chemo at 10:00 a.m.

I'm looking forward to it. Will report back. I'm having a small cup of coffee. Can you believe it?

There have been found to be a glut of sharks in the waters off NS this summer. I send this shout out to Lee Stewart, who for many years read about all things sharks and told us repeatedly about the hundreds, perhaps more, sharks that reside in our waters! Good for Lee. And good thing the pool is fixed.

Jim is getting ready to deliver some CD compilations to Liz for this weekend to work her wonder. We will soon be planning a full scale County sale - and you know who you are who will be helping with this! We will need media - radio and print and posters and locations and, and, and - net proceeds to metastatic breast cancer research. Your support is the only way. Mary will have her event this weekend and I think by then, after expenses (manufacture, etc.) we might be approaching mid-way and so that means we will make it because now it will just be CD comp sales and this CD is good! $15.00 and all the ordering information is contained on this blog.

I sent a note to our local member of the legislative assembly yesterday - I want to have Oct 13 designated as metastatic breast cancer awareness day. Strip the pink for a minute. See what's happening. We need the pink, but we need to see what's behind the pink too! It's big, bigger than we want gals, sisters, my dear friends.

Enough about that. Today will be a good day - we have the power unless something earth shattering happens! Which it will not. Unless we open our mouths and talk about something, NOTHING will be done. Is that our legacy?

The above picture is a shot of me taken by Lisa MacDonald when I was performing during the songwriter's circle at the 2004 Jubilee - on stage with me is Steven Bowers, Arthur Godfrey, Thom Yutes, Clarence Deveau, Ann Oakley and Colin Smeltzer. The song was written by Simon Underwood and I, called AM I A Fool? Many times that question has been asked by both myself of myself and by those who have verbalized to others their need to understand good old enigma Emma Lee. That's good - keep asking. Keeps me grounded in the light of my life! Where you should be too. Our light is our energy - it will increase love and peace in this world. Use it for good and get ready to let it go!

Can't not tell you that PUFF the magic kitty is doing well at Debbie's!!!! Yay. Thank you universe.

Peace to you today! Love, Emma Lee

BT Interview with Mary

2011-08-18T11:23:00.001-03:00

On Tuesday morning! Yay. Went well. she said! Yay. Can't wait. Thanks all!

Blood Work

2011-08-18T10:47:00.007-03:00

Another beautiful breezy day - the windows are opened and life smells pretty nice right now. I'm seeing Honey for lunch. She's my darling. Thanks Auntie Liz. Bloodwork went great, I think - cause no news is good news. 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning for the new chemo. Fingers crossed guys. Prayers for me - but ones with lots of light in them please. The kids are all headed to the city today. I envy them - what fun we would have if we were all there. I'll be there in spirit. Maybe even Seaform cottages for a couple of days next week if all goes well. Jim will love that. VON will have to track me down!!! Just kidding. These are my musings, which I pray will come to fruition.

Don't you love meeting positive people? Isn't it something when a negative person enters a room and sucks the life out of it? Have you felt that recently? Last night when Jim had to do his Gandalf impersonation to protect me!

Make sure that you watch BT in the morning - Miss Mary Stewart will be on, sometime!

My friend Megan is off to a Las Vegas wedding. Now that's something! It would have been been neat to get married in a little chapel down there. But our little chapel was great too! I cried for some reason, the entire time. Jim had his Stewart garb on and I was wearing the most adorable little pink dress and hat. Don't know why I'm going there today.

Okay - have a blast today - it is a wonderful summer day - rest in the breeze, let it caress your face - it feels just some kind of wonderful; just some kind of wonderful!

Peace to you all,

Emma Lee

Back to Too Early

2011-08-17T09:40:00.008-03:00

Honey, courtesy of Auntie Liz at the latest Emma-Day-US at Aileen's!!!!

So, You will see the change in the format. Mary sat that up. I will take mail orders for the CDS - Pictou County's goal is still 200 but if I can do better! Metastatic Breast Cancer Research right? Also I can take through gmail and it's all printed out there.

VON says no to germs today. So, I'll be singing from across the street. Mary will be taping for BT on Friday - so watch up - she'll be talking about the event in TO and the CD in general. Time to order another batch of CDs I think.

Peace to you all today. The humidity is gone. Pressure still down. Nice to have the breeze though. The cleaning gang is rallying and Janice MacNeill has offered her Seaform place while the cleaning goes on. Am I blessed or what? I'll keep you updated. Love to Mary Boulter, where ever you might be driving right now! Be careful with those wonderful kids!

Peace, Emma Lee

Up Too Early

2011-08-17T03:39:00.005-03:00

More will follow - just lost two entries Back to sleep with my angels - 14 of them - they guard us all. Peace to you, Emma Lee

Up Early

2011-08-17T03:13:00.000-03:00

Update

2011-08-15T12:58:00.007-03:00

I'm a lucky gal - two great doctors and wonderful nursing staff! And Jim with me.

We're not going back to Xeloda. Psychologically, too much for me having experienced what I did. But there is another intraveneous drug they are recommending. We have thought it over. I'm going to give it one cycle. I start on the 19th. Vinorelibn. My tumour markers are flying upward. This drug will not penetrate anything in my brain, where activity is high. But it will "manage" other places. My liver is having a hard time. That's all I'm going to say for now.

Here are pictures of Puff from Debbie. Puff is being a good boy! She thinks he will settle down eventually. Isn't that great? Two lovely cats there boy.

I will be conserving energy at every angle. May not be able to make Everett's funeral but will do my best, if someone can give me hand. Talk soon,

Sunday was another beaut!

2011-08-15T06:33:00.006-03:00

Almost all plans yesterday came through, and I was sleeping before the last episode of the The Office, which I am finding quite hilarious. Lee called in. Mary and Dave are here. Jim made a wonderful dinner. I had a candy craving. Janet dropped off a gift certificate for Ming's. Judy picked-up her Cd's. Reg and Joan dropped off the kids and left organic eggs, cheese, coffee, etc. etc. etc. Jim picked up a new ladder for the pool and dropped off Phee's wonderful clothing she loaned me for Maui. Wow. I had hammock time. We listened to IZ, the CD we bought in Maui. It's beautiful. And Julie and I had a great big visit and shared lots of stories and thoughts! She's doing good and the sun - the light - was shining!!

Doctors this morning. I'm anxious. Will report. Mary is staying over tomorrow night and then Jim will get them somehow to the airport on Wednesday. They will be meeting Lee and Tessa in TO. The kids are going to have such fun. I will be with them in spirit but hopefully they will let loose - and wear their Maui gear we loaded them up with!!! HaH!!!!!

My body. My time. My listening to my heart. My yes. My no. All those lessons I've been picking up since chemo started in early July 2010. Quality. Love, light, laughter and feeling as well as I can! And having those I love around me. Two weeks and counting til my room gets ready for me here at the little cottage on Temperance Street. Extract all unnecessary - PLEASE. No dust. Just clean and beauty. That's what I want. A rocking chair?

Peace today, pray I can make Everett's funeral on Wednesday. If pressure is good.

Open your mind. Fill your heart with the light. I can feel it now. It's free for the taking and there's lots of it.

Emma Lee

Amazing Breeze, Amazing Light

2011-08-14T07:13:00.006-03:00

The breeze this early morning is incredible. It must be touching people throughout the Maritimes and I hope it is and I hope you can appreciate its touch. Yesterday was busy. John my brother and his wife Mary were here. We had a feast. I had a rest. Then Jim and I went to the Dairy Queen and for a drive! Magic again because the sky was so blue it was amazing! Thank you for that. Today a friend is dropping by and perhaps some others. Thanks for the CD sales- Jim will get them out to you as soon as he can. He has to go to an open house on Tuesday in Halifax and then a turn over on Wednesday noon and then he's on compassionate leave with me.

My dear, good, wonderful friend Everett has gone into the light. His funeral is on Wednesday. I am asking God for the strength to go to his funeral. I love Everett Smith. He has been one of my greatest friends at Trinity. He has showed me the example of Christian love over and over and over again. I hope I can raise my voice for him on Wednesday.

Mary is coming home today, with Dave and I can't wait to see them. They will be travelling back to TO this week and Lee and Tessa will be going up to stay with them. Have a blast you guys! I will miss it to be sure. So will Jim, but I can't possibly make the trip and Jim is not going to leave me again! The 22nd should be a blast at the Horseshoe. Go in an visit Mary's site. I'll link it.

I am hoping for another drive, some visiting, some sleeping some eating, no nausea - higher pressure and love and light and sunshine and happiness and QUALITY of life! Get some of that in your pockets guys. That's all you need. Make a difference of good in the world.

Love to you all! Emma Lee

I'm Taking Mail Orders for RFH CD Comps - See Below.

2011-08-11T06:52:00.010-03:00

Reason For Hope CD Compilation - next release. Horseshoe Tavern, TO. Can you believe it? August 22nd. Mary is going great gusto to get this off the ground. (Jim and I won't be able to go.) As far as I can tell, cause an official accounting hasn't been given to me, we may be half way to our goal! I'm hoping anyway - but don't forget we can get more printed in time for Christmas delivery and the good work can continue. I have CDs here - I am taking orders by mail (well Jim is) - snail mail that is - 170 Temperance Street, New Glasgow NS B2H 3B1. $15.00 is the cost but we need to cover shipping which we are estimating at $2.00 for packing envelope and postage. Don't be shy. It's a great product and the funds are needed for research desperately. Blatant self-promotion - Listen to track 15 first - unreleased by me!!

Jim has been flogging them in Halifax like mad. My friend Janet Ervin has six. Janet was here for a great visit yesterday. (Chicken soup!) Lynn and Linda have four. (There may be a dinner left from them today.) Megan MacKay has five. Megan was here for a great visit yesterday. H&R has 2 left. We sold over 30 last weekend! We have to account for all sales and get those funds into the Canadian Breast Cancer Network so they can do their thing. These CDs can't sit on shelves gathering dust - NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Not my mandate nor wish. If they sit on a shelf they're not funding research and I will not stand for that - then they're off the shelf - If they don't move within one week, then find another tactic I say. I haven't gotten Liz Van den Eynden involved yet - and she can certainly help push any that aren't moving on shelves. Funds back to Reason for Hope - deposit made - cheque cut and on it's way! Okay - that's the rant. Net proceeds - after production(band alignment, bios, arrangements, artwork, etc.) manufacturing/production and release (believe me it's bare bones) costs - goes. This is my dream. As soon as sales are made, proceeds must be turned back in for deposit.

Okay. So, I'm ranting - you can tell that my pressure is nicely climbing. Karen spent the evening. Jim may be off on compassionate leave as early as next week, please God. Oncologist on Monday and we will talk Xeloda. VON checking in every day - seems a different gal every day. Busy gals. Wave to them! They are doing a good job.

Still a poor quality of life. Gone down hill considerably. My brother John and Mary coming by Saturday; Julie coming by on Sunday; Mary coming home on Sunday with Dave; Jim home tomorrow.

I'm going to rest and then try my hand at my story again - thanks Chris for guiding me - The Best Christmas Ever. Will give you previews if that's all I get! So there's your job today!!!!!!! Get your motor running!!! Forget about the rain and write, write, write.

Peace, Emma Lee

So Many Friends, Where Do I Start?

2011-08-07T07:12:00.005-03:00

I'm going to start with this one: I have had inspiration flowing into my heart over the past couple of weeks, as I learn to be the gal who cannot make a commitment. In that time, I've been searching for inspiration - oh, I know I'm know I'm not walking alone and all that, you don't have to remind me, I'm calling on the light and energy of all of you to fill me with good tidings. Here are some "awakenings" to go along with that. These are taken from a 2011 Calendar called Awakening published by Le Grange Centre Ministries: Ministry of the Arts, St. Joseph Press The Well: a Spirituality & Retreat Centre. Their Ministry: Through the arts we contemplate and express the universe and holiness of all creation. We affirm the power and prophecy of the arts and believe the arts to be an important ministry for hope and healing in a critical moment of world transformation. Many of the creators of the artwork here are local.

January: The day of my spiritual awakening was the day I saw - and Iknew I saw - ALL THINGS IN GOD AND GOD IN ALL THINGS. Art: Communion by Ansgar Holmberg. Each day then holds a message: My January: Regret is a waste of energy. Expect prayers to be answered.Put your heart in all you do.

February: Let yourself be loved. Fruitfulness, not success, bring true joy.
In a dark time, the eye begins to see.

March: Listen to your heart beat. Observe the grandeur of God in a tree. Grow herbs on your window sill.

April: Your inner resources are the treasure your carry. Make sometime from nothing.

May: Sit in silence at least 10 minutes each day. Feed your spirit with quiet time (Mary's birthday)

June: Have a courageous conversation with yourself. Write down your dreams. Believe that life is worth living. Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace (Lee's birthday).

August: comes adorned with my friend Mary's cell phone number! Thank you. God's abiding prescence encourages new ways of seeing and doing. Make a plan, and then let go. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closing to the truth. Gather wildflowers. Arrange in vintage vases.

That's as far as I'm taking it. Don't want to turn the next page yet. Peace to you all today. Find inspiration - it really is all around you!

Thanks dragon boaters for making the remarkable ever more remarkable! You guys are amazing!

Peace today and always, Emma Lee

Good Morning

2011-08-04T08:07:00.002-03:00

Hey there Working away at getting paypal set up for CD purchases. Will give you more information in due course In the meantime, it will be going on sale this week at Dragon Boat Festival. I'll get to hear the festivities from up the hill. Take care all!! Concessions stage Friday night and Carnation booth on Saturday! Get'em soon - going like hotcakes!!!! More information on this site soon! Peace to you all today.

Aredia treatmnet and Dr Farrell in the morning.

Hello

2011-08-01T10:42:00.003-03:00

Hey all. Sorry it's been so long. I've been fighting, fighting, fighting to start feeling like myself again. I think it's coming, but very slowly. It's such a beautiful day, I just wanted to wish you all the best. I'm breathing in the white light of the universe's energy, praying for healing and filling myself with hope. Please do the same! Find a wonderful place today and relax and breath it all in and just be amazed at all you have! Love to you all, Emma Lee

I'm Going Home!

2011-07-27T08:55:00.001-03:00

So happy. Short blog. Karen is coming at 9:30 to pick me up! See you soon hopefully. But will be resting for the rest of this week! Emma Lee

That Sir Paul!

2011-07-27T06:41:00.005-03:00

As you can see, I'm up early to this little computer in the family room. What a great tool to have in here! We are still working on one area of concern, and as soon as that is tackled I should be able to get home. Now that I'm "in the system", I will be getting daily home visits so that will be great on the days Jim is in Halifax and I will also need my friends to check in as well. Getting my front room set-up is the next task. I am told I can get a hospital bed so that will be a great thing.

I can hear the rain pouring down on the windows. It is coming down in buckets. Plants won't need any watering today!

Oh, by the way, I took phone calls all night long from the Bell Centre. I got to hear Yesterday and Helter Skelter (the first encore) before the phone got mushy. That was at midnight. Jim said the show started late because they couldn't get Sir Paul out of NEW YORK CITY! (I have my own way of saying that - ala Sir Paul.) He played 3 hours, 2 full encores and it was an amazing show. Jim took loads of pictures. Can't wait to see them. He'll be back here around 8:30 tonight if flights are not delayed. Jim knows I would simply not have been able to endure the length of the night - he had to get into the Bell Centre at 3 (4 our time) and then wait for the sound check, which was late and then have supper, which was good, and then get first dibs at merch, which was great, and then wait for the show, for which he had to stand all the way through. I would have been a puddle on the ground. I somehow knew that in the back of my mind.

Anyway, have a wondrous day. It could be one of those days. I'm still a work in progress out here so we have to let the doctors and nurses do their thing. I will let you know when I am home. I'm very tired so please email me emmalee@eastlink.ca or call Jim at 396-6570 - he's home Sat - Tues.

Peace to you all. I'm turning my mind to thoughts of energy. Think of yours.

Emma Lee

Just Call Me The Girl Who Can No Longer Make Commitments

2011-07-26T08:59:00.008-03:00

As Mary said, some interesting updates to my blog.

I'm sitting here in our fabulous palliative care unit at the Aberdeen Hospital. Jim is headed for the airport where I am making him take in Sir Paul's concert tonight in Montreal. We purchased this trip out of funds raised at Emma's Excursion of Hope - we split the monies into two portions: one to pay for our Maui trip and the other to pay for us to go to Montreal to see Sir Paul McCartney. I enjoyed the Maui trip. I would not enjoy the McCartney trip and it is against my doctor's advice that I would even consider going. I know that I could not do it. I am very weak. It would simply be wrong.

I'm back on steroids. The headaches have eased. The nausea has eased. One other area is holding us up and we are working on it. I will be here until that has settled down. Dr. Farrell wants me to feel well again. I want to feel well again. Traveling to McCartney and the excitement and not getting back til tomorrow night, while good for my soul potentially, would not be good for my old body. So here I sit.

Last night went wonderfully. That's what I hear. As the title to this blog says, I am now the girl who can no longer make commitments - of any kind. A full report and update shall follow, however, about last night.

There could be a much longer blog coming regarding my experience this past weekend. I'm not sure yet. I would caution folks to stay away from the ER on the weekends unless you are losing a limb. On Saturday everything got the best of me. I felt the worst I have ever felt in my life. My temperature was rising. I could not eat or drink. The pain in my side was atrocious. I knew I had to get help. I came to the ER at 3:30 or so. I stayed in the ER until a bed was found in the maternity ward on Sunday night and then on Monday when Jim arrived I sent him to find Joanne Cumminger, cancer patient navigator. It was not too much longer before Dr. Farrell was walking into my room, and putting me next on the list for a bed in the palliative ward, telling me he was going to make me feel well again (from me - and hopefully erase the experience I had just come through). Dr. MacLean has also been by twice to see me. My level of comfort has been boosted. Oh, I have to mention Dr. Colin Sutton, who on Sunday just happened to see Jim leaving the hospital and inquired about me and off he went and I just know that he touched something off (the maternity ward placement - the fact that I am involved with palliative care?) as well.

Poor Jack Layton. When he had his operation last year I knew in my mind he had developed metastatic prostate cancer. I just knew it. He looks dreadful. No one has used that term metastatic prostate cancer, calling it a new cancer instead (hmm); perhaps because he's a famous politician. There's no cure for metastatic disease, but potential cures for new cancers.

I keep saying this phrase - listen up - but "quality of life" is what it is all about. Quality of life people.

I have to be honest. I'm trying not to cry and think about Jim and Sir Paul. These seats allow us to go to the sound check and a meet and greet. Jim had been working on me getting to meet Paul. We never did get a satisfactory resolution to that. Jim says it would be easier to meet the Queen. I said it would be easier if I were 7 years old.

The Reason for Hope CD will be released in Pictou County during the Dragon Boat festival. It will be for sale on the Race site - Friday night in the Race merch tent and on race day in the lost and found area/carnation purchase area, etc. I have a team that will also be selling - Janet Ervin and Liz Van den Eynden will have product in advance and if you see them coming, pull out your wallet! We have a minimum number of CDs that have to be purchased and listened to here in Pictou County. These songs have to let their energy into our Pictou County air! It's a fabulous project: If I may, track 15 first! My daughter put together a wonderful project!!! Thanks to Tammy too for all her hard work.

Peace to you today. I hope to be home before week's end.

Emma Lee

A Note From Mary

2011-07-25T09:57:00.002-03:00

Hello Everyone,

Today is a big day in the Stewart house.

Tammy Milbury from Codapop Studio (Halifax, NS) and I have been working over the last year on this fantastic Compilation CD which will be available for sale tonight at The Carleton! The silent auction starts at 6:30PM, music will begin at 8PM we have a wonderful line up including : Ruth Minnikin, David Myles, Lennie Gallant, myself and a secret special guest! Admission is $20.00 and CDs are $15.00, the proceeds are going towards Metastatic Breast Cancer Research!

On another note,

My mother, Emma Lee was admitted to the Aberdeen on Saturday Evening and I am certain she will have a very exciting blog post for you when she returns home to her kitties.

She wanted to be at this event so badly and is forcing my father to still attend on her behalf.

Please send out the positive healing vibes as tomorrow she is supposed to fly to Montreal for a visit with Sir Paul McCartney.

Sincerely,

Mary Stewart

The Hammock Got The Better Of Me!

2011-07-20T15:35:00.007-03:00

The hammock got the better of me. There it is - perched in the "back 40", and this afternoon I could not resist. It was an awesome couple of hours.

This morning I had a fabulous conversation with a dear friend. He reminded me of the energy of love that has been surrounding me and my family throughout this journey. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am everyday reminded of it. But, as I think you have gathered, I'm not feeling well, and when I'm not feeling well, it's hard for me to focus. Really, really hard. It is something that I am trying to come to terms with. In the dark of night, I call upon all of the energy that is surrounding me to become a part of me, to fill me and take away all negative energy. I cry for that to happen. So today, I'm crying for all of the positive to fill me. And that positive is love. That's what happened in the hammock in the back 40.

As I was laying under my trusty old maple tree, with the sun shining through at just the right angle to see a spider's web in all its glory, and to watch the sun dance on the leaves of that tree, like drops of sunshine really, silently raining down on me, I felt love filling me up. I was taken away somewhere, and for a couple of hours, I felt fabulous. Love. Can you pull it up? Can you imagine it? The love that fills this universe? The energy of love that fills this universe? There were children happily playing and a dog barking (in the distance), and the world seemed just right for a good long while. Now that is a memory I am going to replay, over and over again, and hope that tomorrow it will happen all over again.

Peace to you all. Get out there and experience the love in this universe. Open your hearts and minds and pull it all in: accept it, it's there for us, for all of us.

Emma Lee

2011-07-19T10:34:00.008-03:00

It's a beautiful morning. I haven't heard the weather and am not going to make a point of listening. I'm just enjoying it right now. The pool is filling. The breeze is awesome and cool and I'm quite content. I'm working as hard as I can to push back these feelings of unwellness. It's been 4 days since I started Xeloda. The nausea is indescribable. I'm going to give it until Friday before I check in with the gals at Chemo. I'm thinking I just have to get used to the rhythm of taking these pills. The nausea pill I have has to be taken 1/2 hour before meals and the Xeloda has to be taken with food. Four tablets in the morning and three tables in the evening. I don't like to have snacks before bed, but I am now.

What a good time I had on Saturday. Besides lots of friends and a beautiful location, Auntie Liz had Honey there. I'm posting a picture. She's a darling little thing. I miss her so much.

The cats and I are having a stand-off. I can't tolerate them. Something radical has changed inside me. I cannot tolerate them. Puff is a wonderful male cat. He's fixed. He loves to play. He spends a lot of time playing and he also is quite vocal, expressing himself in little "chirtles" I will call them. He is about 2 years old, white and lovely. I'll post a picture of his little face. Boobadee is not doing well. She had been, but she's not eating and spitting out her pills and generally not doing well. We will be taking her to the Vet. Puff is Mary's cat but she's in no position to have another cat in Toronto.

Anyway, back to business here. Jim is home today, then working in Halifax for the balance of the week. CD release is fast approaching. I did an interview with the Coast yesterday by telephone. It went well. Spread the word. I hope we have a crowd. The evening is going to be spectacular!

So today, I will finish my book in Lloyd and Gwen's hammock - I'm hopeful they haven't forgotten they have left it here for my use. Jim will be in the pool tonight, I have the feeling. It is great to get the house back to some sort of organization. Pray for Boobadee. She's been the greatest little cat. She adopted us. She's been the source of much inspiration, but her time has come. Pray that Puff finds a good home. He's a dandy little cat, and will be a loyal guy to a caring family.

Peace to you all today,

Emma Lee

Saturday In Nova Scotia!

2011-07-16T08:25:00.006-03:00

My goodness the weather. Is it really July 16th? Anyway, we shall survive.

Aileen has asked me out to her place today, and I guess there will be some others joining us as well. I can't wait! Jim is coming along too. Aileen's cottage is close to the beach where he grew up so he can stroll and check out the changes and perhaps run into old friends he hasn't seen in a while.

At 8:20 a.m. this morning I had the courage to start my next chemo, Xeloda. I take 4, 500 mg pills in the morning and 3, 500 mg pills in the evening. There is also a new anti nausea drug, that I misunderstood. I was supposed to take it a-half hour before I ate, and then take the Xeloda, but whatever. I'll get it into me at some point, and that mistake will not happen again. Reading the side effects on both has me pretty freaked out though. But, as Lee said last night, they have to list the side-effects but a very small minority of people actually end up experiencing them. Dr. Farrell told me yesterday that within 10 days is when the side-effects will occur, if they are going to occur. So, we shall see. I am praying the new anti nausea is really good, cause I am severely nauseated, without Xeloda! Yikes. Hopefully this Xeloda will manage things for a while.

Liz may have Honey for a drive this afternoon, and she just might pass by Aileen's! I really, really hope so.

I have another trip planned. I've been pretty quiet about this one. But here goes: At the same time we planned our trip to Maui, we learned that Paul McCartney is touring again. So on the day after the CD release in Halifax, we will fly Porter Airlines to Montreal. We have seats in the 3rd row from the front and will see McCartney at the Bell Centre in Montreal. We bought the tickets that allow us into the sound check and into a meet and greet, but there's really no guarantee that McCartney will show up or that we will get to meet him. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Jim's working on it. So that Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday will be very busy days for me. I'll be needing some rest after that and that of course is the 10th day since starting Xeloda! I'm a sight to see anyway. Let's hope I don't get the rash and the hand and feet problems for that night.

I see the gals at chemo and Dr. Farrell again on the 5th. In the meantime, if any problems occur, they are there for me.

Alright, enjoy this summer day, even if it doesn't feel like a summer day. This is our life and our time. So get out there and enjoy it.

Peace,

Emma Lee

Judy took these pictures today at the Museum Porch

2011-07-14T19:44:00.004-03:00

First picture is Holly Lynn and Anna - the two students employed there this summer! They are doing a great job!

A Few Things About Yesterday

2011-07-14T14:06:00.007-03:00

Yesterday was a busy day.

In the morning, Murray dropped by with a CD of some tunes that he's currently listening to, and a strawberry rhubarb pie! He also had his Pictou County made Whitaker Guitar and we played a couple of bluegrass numbers together, which he sang, and it was awesome. He was on his way to see Everett, my number one drummer, to have lunch. My memories turn back to our original Holy Potion days at Trinity and it is wonderful to have friends like this.

Next, Lee arrived home. Yay.

A bit later, Jim Shaffner called to say he found his air conditioner in storage and he wondered whether I might like it as I had borrowed it last year. Bring it on. So I have an air conditioner in the living room and in my bedroom, ensuring comfortability. Now, will the weather ever arrive?

Lee and I had a good visit, reviewing the pictures from Hawaii. He loves his new Hawaiian shirt and I hope Tessa will like her gift too! Lee displayed his talent at painting one of the pictures from Hawaii that Jim and I had taken. At Whaler's Village, we found one of those little photo booths. I haven't had a picture taken in one of those since I was a kid. We jumped in to have a photo taken. It took several tries and was very confusing for us old folks. Anyway, we finally had one we thought, as our time was up (I don't remember time limits), but anyway Jim had a very "evil" look on his face and I will never be sharing this picture! Lee and I had a great laugh and then Lee added some more details. I'll leave it at that but it is funny.

Then Lee and I ordered a pizza for supper which was absolutely delicious, and in fact, I felt almost like my appetite was coming back!!!

The final event of the day was one that Jim urged me to go to. He came home from Halifax to do a "cry" at a Communities in Bloom event that the Town was holding at Glasgow Square. He told me I had to go. I was confused, and not sure why I had to go to a Communities in Bloom event, but got ready anyway and we arrived at the Square around 8. It was a lovely presentation and the National reps from CIB were there. Then there were the awards. To our shock and surprise, the Town of New Glasgow and CIB presented us the "2011 Flourish & Thrive Award". Kim Dickson, in her remarks, noted how events that we have touched have gone on to make New Glasgow flourish and thrive. We are both very touched, honoured and proud of this award. Very, very lovely on the part of the Town. We will continue to pray that New Glasgow Flourish!

Then home and the end of a very busy day!

This morning started with a set on the Museum doorsteps. I had a good time and there was a lovely crowd - and we even joked about forming the Carmichael-Stewart House Chorale!

I was so cold by the time I got home I made macaroni and cheese and again I am hoping that my appetite is coming back, since I had the craving for this comfort food.

Anyway, find some comforts today that give you pleasure. I'm going to continue reading my book and I have a snugly prayer shawl to keep me warm. Lee is off to see Metallica and Jim found a place to stay in Halifax tonight. Tonight, the cats and I will hold down the fort here at home and, best of all, I hear my pool may be fixed this weekend!

Peace to you all,

Emma Lee

Press Release for CD Release

2011-07-14T07:46:00.002-03:00

HALIFAX
July 14, 2011
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CODAPOP RECORDING STUDIO IS PROUD
TO PRESENT "THE REASON FOR HOPE" COMPILATION CD RELEASE.

July 25th, 2011 marks the official CD Release for "The Reason For Hope", a collection of Eastern Canadian artists in aid of Metastatic Breast Cancer research.

The evening, hosted by The Carleton Restaurant on Argyle Street, Halifax, will be a night to celebrate with friends as musicians come together in an optimistic way to make a change and raise awareness of this disease. We recommend you purchase tickets in advance from The Carleton at 902-422-6335.

A silent auction will be held at the venue and will start at 6:30pm. Music starts at 730pm, including performances by Emma Lee Stewart, Ruth Minnikin, David Myles and Mary Stewart as well as other artists featured on the CD. During the evening the audience will also be granted a special performance by Lennie Gallant. Tickets are $20.00.

In May of 2010, New Glasgow resident Emma Lee Stewart (Founding chair of The New Glasgow Riverfront Jubilee, Former Chair of the New Glasgow Music Festival, Former board member of The New Glasgow Dragon Boat Festival, Choir Director and vocal instructor) learned her cancer had returned for the second time. This time, however, it returned as metastatic breast cancer, seeded in her liver. Over the last year the cancer has spread leaving metastasis in her bones and brain. Upon her first diagnosis with Breast Cancer in 2006, Stewart founded The Reason For Hope, a non profit Nova Scotia Society which has donated money to: The Canadian Cancer Society, The Lodge That Gives and the Oncology Department at the Aberdeen Hospital in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, among others.

In an attempt to turn a negative situation into a positive one, her daughter, Mary Stewart, had the idea of spreading awareness through music. During 2010, Mary reached out to friends of the Stewart Family to make this project possible. Codapop Studios (www.codapop.com) have worked on this project with Mary, allowing use of their Halifax Studio to record select tracks from Emma Lee Stewart, Doris Mason, Mary Stewart and The Danger Bees for this project.

The fundraising goal for this project is $15,000.00. Net proceeds will flow to The Canadian Breast Cancer Network for Metastatic Breast Cancer Research to make a change for women who find themselves in this situation in the future via The Reason For Hope Society.

The Reason For Hope CD includes: Alert The Medic, Amos The Transparent, Crissi Cochrane, Crush Luther, David Myles, Doris Mason, Emma Lee Stewart, Hopeful Monster, In Flight Safety, Jenn Grant, Lennie Gallant, Mary Stewart, Matt Minglewood, Rose Cousins, Ruth Minnikin, The Danger Bees and The Love Machine.

Thank you to our contributing sponsors: The Delta Halifax, Turbine by Lisa Drader Murphy and The Carleton for helping make this night possible.
-30-

For Press Inquiries please contact;

Mary Stewart
Cool Planet Entertainment
647.960.2593
marzstewart@gmail.com

Interviews with Emma Lee Stewart can be arranged via:
emmalee@eastlink.ca
902.752.1650

Reason for Hope CD Release Party

2011-07-13T13:07:00.003-03:00

The Reason for Hope CD Release Party - July 25th, 2011

2011-07-13T12:59:00.001-03:00

Codapop Recording Studio is proud to present:

July 25th, 2011 marks the official CD Release for "The Reason For Hope", a collection of Eastern Canadian artists in aid of Metastatic Breast Cancer research.

The evening, hosted by The Carleton Restaurant on Argyle Street, will be a night to celebrate with friends as musicians come together in an optimistic way to make a change and raise awareness for this disease. We recommend that... you purchase tickets in advance from The Carleton at 902-422-6335.

Come out and have a drink, peruse the items and say hello to friends.

A silent auction will be held at the venue and will start at 6:30pm. Music starts at 8pm, including performances by Emma Lee Stewart, Ruth Minnikin, David Myles and Mary Stewart as well as other artists featured on the CD. There will also be a special performance by Lennie Gallant. Tickets to the event are $20.00 and we will have CDs for sale at $15.00.

Thank you to our contributing sponsors: The Delta Halifax , Turbine by Lisa Drader Murphy and The Carleton for helping make this night possible.

In May of 2010, New Glasgow resident Emma Lee Stewart learned her cancer had returned for the second time. This time, however, it returned as metastatic breast cancer, seeded in her liver. Over the last year the cancer has spread leaving metastasis in her bones and brain. Upon her first diagnosis with Breast Cancer in 2006, Stewart founded The Reason For Hope Not-For-Profit Society which has donated money to The Canadian Cancer Society, The Lodge That Gives and The Oncology Department at the Aberdeen hospital in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia.

Prior to Stewart's diagnosis, she has been actively involved in the music community of Nova Scotia for years as founding chair of The New Glasgow Riverfront Jubilee, a member of the board of The Provincial Music Festival, a vocal teacher, and a board member of The New Glasgow Dragon Boat Festival, to name a few.

In attempt to turn a negative situation into a positive one, her daughter, Mary Stewart, got the idea of spreading the message through music. During the year of 2010, Mary reached out to friends of the Stewart family to make this project possible. We here at Codapop Studios (www.codapop.com) have worked on this project with Mary, allowing use of our Halifax Studio to record select tracks from Emma Lee Stewart, Doris Mason, Mary Stewart and The Danger Bees for this project.

All of the musicians on this CD are longtime friends of the Stewart family and have kindly donated their songs to help spread awareness for this worthy cause.

The fundraising goal for this project is $15,000.00. Net proceeds will flow to The Breast Cancer Network for Metastatic Breast Cancer Research to make a change for women who find themselves in this situation in the future via The Reason For Hope Society.

The Reason For Hope CD Track Listing :

A light - CRUSH LUTHER
Sadie In The Kitchen - ROSE COUSINS
Up Up & Away - AMOS THE TRANSPARENT
Last Waltz - JENN GRANT
Runaway - DAVID MYLES
Separate Cities - CRISSI COCHRANE
No Matter- THE LOVE MACHINE
Old Faithful - RUTH MINNIKIN
Don't Call It Being Lonely - THE DANGER BEES
I'd Try Anything - ALERT THE MEDIC
I Could Love You More- IN FLIGHT SAFETY
End Of The Road- HOPEFUL MONSTER
Brushed By The Wings Of An Angel - MATT MINGLEWOOD
Good Wife - MARY STEWART
Send Someone For Me- EMMA LEE
When Emma Sings - DORIS MASON
An Extraordinary Ordinary Life - LENNIE GALLANT

Random Thoughts

2011-07-13T08:28:00.004-03:00

As I was sending an email to my nephew yesterday, describing the nub of an idea for a story, I realized again what an inspiration Honey was for me. Our early morning walks were a real source; when the world was quiet and we set out in all kinds of weather, blazing our trail through the new day. She's been on my mind a lot recently and I don't know why. I must get to see her.

So then I started wondering now where does my inspiration come from? Certainly not from these two cats that had the run of the house for 10 days. Gosh. Although we had Karen here, twice a day for that entire duration, Puff seems to think that he is indeed the ruler of this place. Boobadee and he do not, in any way, shape or form, get along. But Boobadee is again holding her own, now that her thyroid problems are under control with medication. Puff is a real bully sometimes, but on the other hand, I have to laugh at him. He loves to play and run from end to end of the house, chasing the 3 little toys he has, or a bottle top. Yesterday I found a large marble and let that go to see what happened and indeed, it is now a favourite. The wonderful thing is neither of them any longer come upstairs to wake me up, instead waiting quietly downstairs. That is really nice. Thanks. I slept in this morning.

Lee is coming home today and is traveling with friends to the Metallica concert tomorrow in Halifax. We heard lots of Metallica when Lee was growing up. This is the second time he has seen the band.

The Carlton plans are coming along nicely for the 25th. I will post a separate blog on that, with all the details. A really nice silent auction has been set-up as well as Lennie Gallant, David Myles, Rose Cousins, Ruth Minikin and others for the songwriters circle. I'll probably post a facebook event for it as well.

Drug company funding has been approved. Friday. New chemo will start.

Going to try and gather up the cat hair and dust today. My next project is to declutter my little cottage on Temperance Street. I will rest as needed. I'm into The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest and am putting together a short set for Thursday morning (20 minutes or so) at the Carmichael Stewart House Museum. Anna and Holly are hosting music and other activities on the front porch each Thursday this summer! Wonderful ideas, a hop, skip and jump from my front door.

I haven't figured out how to edit after posting. Sorry. Forgive me.

Aileen dropped off some more granola last night. Thanks Aileen!

Alright. Find something wonderful to occupy your mind for a while today. Something you love and find complete and utter joy in. After you're finished, you can either share it with those you love, or keep it to yourself. Either way it's a present - it's a treasure.

Peace to you all,

Emma Lee

Mama's Fish Houe, Paua, Maui, Hawaii

2011-07-11T14:19:00.009-03:00

The above pics were taken on Sunday, July 3rd, 2011. Mama's Fish House came highly recommended to us by David and Joan and I think I mentioned that before. My friend Janet also urged me to make sure Mama's was one place we didn't miss while in Maui, and so we didn't.

There was a great deal of confusion between the two of us about how to get there as Mama's is "on the road to Hana", which either provokes fear and dread, or awe and wonder, and for some reason we thought Mama's was on the other side of Hana. Many, many people urged us not to try to do the two on the same day. In any event, we were finally given a really good map by a time share salesperson (ha!) which alleviated all of our confusion. Poor fellow - he probably hasn't heard my story before! How to clear a room. In any event, we also found a listing for Mama's which noted it as the best restaurant in the world. So . . . we were really looking forward.

We had reservations for 11:30 a.m. but we set off early anyway. It was another amazingly beautiful day. As it was the July long weekend, there were lots of families camping at bountiful beaches along the way. All beaches in Hawaii are public. We were early, and so did drive a goodly enough portion of the "road to Hana" before stopping to admire some surfers and then turn around to go back to Mama's.

What an experience. A true Maui experience. The friendliness of the staff. The freshness and quality of the food. The atmosphere of the restaurant. It was all simply amazing. Thanks David and Joan! It certainly lived up to everything we had heard about Mama's Fish House. It was the best meal I have ever enjoyed and I mean enjoyed. There was just something different about how the people and the food were honored.

The bags have arrived at 170 Temperance Street!

I'm hoping that tomorrow when I wake up I'll be feeling better. CT scan today will be reviewed with me on Thursday. If drug company approval comes through, new chemo to start on Friday. Side effects described are eerily similar to how I am currently feeling.

I keep thinking of quality of life. I had some great quality of life in Maui! Thank you everyone for making that possible. I pray you are truly enjoying and honoring your quality of life. I pray for that.

Peace today and always,

Emma Lee

Pictou Lobster Carnival

2011-07-08T07:31:00.006-03:00

The title has absolutely nothing to do with this post. But I fondly remember so many carnivals. I hope Angie has great success with her challenges this weekend. What a task! My best to all of the volunteers working so hard to make this event a success. What would we do without volunteers?

Well, our bags still haven't surfaced. I don't think I need say anything further on that end. I'm laying low as I'm not feeling at all well.

I can say that I can't believe how my little garden has grown. Yay. Harvested lettuce and had a beautiful fresh salad last night. I'll be planting more.

I'm going to post a couple of shots from our trip! The Mahana was our home away from home. The spinner dolphins were a highlight - snorkeling with the spinner dolphins! There were hundreds of them. It was amazing.

More later.

Peace to you all today.

Emma Lee

Back In Nova Scotia

2011-07-07T13:04:00.002-03:00

We're back! Tired. Delayed. Tired. NO BAGS! More later!

Happy Canada Day!

2011-07-01T13:07:00.006-03:00

The sound of the surf and the trade winds never stop and I'm not complaining. Our room is feet from the Pacific Ocean as you have seen from the shots I've posted. The first night in, I awoke with a start and I thought that the glass lanai door was open, and that we were sleeping with just the screen door closed. That thought so comforted me I immediately fell back to sleep. When I got up, I realized that both doors were closed. That is how beautiful the sound of the surf and trade winds are. It is absolutely amazing.

Ive been longing for a place like this.

It may be July 1st as I type and if so, Happy Canada Day. We have met a family of Stewarts from Edmonton and in fact enjoyed a Luau with them the other night.

Do you know how early people get up here? The world starts very early in Maui. Another reason I really like this place. I like to start early too, even without Honey by my side, waking up with the birds.

I have missed writing my blogs though. Writing has become a life line for me. We aren't able to connect with the internet in our room and so to the lobby I must go. Early, very early. Another sight to see! I am facing the most incredible mountain range - what a variety of topography, and colors, and smells, and sounds. If I had grandchildren, I would make sure they could swim like dolphins and when I could afford it, take them to Hawaii. The children here are having a ball snorkeling and playing in the ocean. We are too! Still children at heart. My favorite is just finding a great place to sit and being rocked by the waves, which are not surfable in the area that I have found. It is gentle and allows Jim to have great swims and me to swim, rest, be rocked and rest and swim. Lots of sunscreen, don't worry.

We're going to enjoy a sunset cruise this evening. That is the extent of my action/adventure in Hawaii - that and swimming. I've also been able to sleep. Hallelujah! Cause I am one tired puppy!

I have to mention how black the night gets, soon after sunset. It is amazing. And then - THE STARS! Star gazers would love these constellations. I have never seen the night sky look like this and can't remember when I have actually turned my gaze upwards to look at the stars - maybe last summer? Crazy I know. But the stars here are absolutely amazing. I have tried to catch it with my camera, but it simply doesn't work well enough.

Peace to you all. Enjoy your long weekend.

Emma Lee

June 27 2011

2011-06-28T14:06:00.006-03:00

We're at the Aston Mahana. It is very quiet. There is even an imposed quiet time between 10 p.m. and 8 a.m. No swim up bars - no raucousness. It's lovely. We can visit the two sister hotels for raucousness if we wish!

Peace - it's magical here.

Emma Lee

Last Evening's Sunset

2011-06-27T15:26:00.003-03:00

We Made It!

2011-06-26T13:27:00.004-03:00

This is the 5:30 a.m. Maui time view from our Lanai (balcony). We figured out that upon arrival, we probably hadn't slept for about 24 hours, other than little cat naps on the planes. We didn't have any problems, and thank goodness for passenger assistance for me - especially in Toronto - where Pearson was insane and we were turning the corner for our Denver gate when we heard Last Call for Flight 301 to Denver where we connected to our eventual 7 hour Maui flight. The only way we made it was Jim was running and pushing me in the wheelchair - it was probably quite comical! But we made it.

And we have internet in the room. So, we're off to orientation. As you know, this will not be action adventure vacation, rather fun, rest, floral and fauna vacation. There's already been two little birds adventure onto our lanai.

Will check in later on. The coffee is marvelous as is the fresh pineapple - just about $2 and so fresh, like nothing I've tasted before. It's beautiful here.

Peace to you all today! Thank you friends and family for this incredible time in our lives.

Emma Lee and Jim.

June 22, 23, 24, 1984

2011-06-23T05:57:00.012-03:00

So, it's June 22nd, 1984. The Band - Hal Britton - a wickedly tight little ensemble -Doug Turnbull, bass; Barry Ray, lead and rhythm guitar; John "The Mouse" Fraser, drums, me, vocals and keys, and as back-up for our upcoming gig on the 23rd -Jim - are rehearsing cause we have a gig scheduled for the evening of the 23rd of June and that coincidentally is my "due" date. So, we're getting Jim and the boys up to speed so they can cover the dance numbers that folks would be looking forward to hearing. Jim and I are living in Stellarton, on Stellar Street at the time, and music is our mainstay. In other words, we are dirt poor. Hal Britton's repertoire is good: classic 60's, 70's rock, with a smattering of new music and originals of course (Beatles, Animals, Janice, Tina, Golden Earring, Deep Purple, Mitch Ryder, etc.) We were the band called upon to open for any "acts" that were coming to town and we loved doing those shows. We were tight and in fact the previous weekend had opened for Doug & The Slugs in Port Hood. I was quite pregnant at the time, but the work out I was getting from the music kept me very much in shape.

So back to the 22nd, 23rd, 24th of June. We finished rehearsal and the boys went home and we settled in for the night. First thing on the 23rd I got up, and realized my water had broken! Yay. I called the Aberdeen and they told me that labour should kick in within hours. Bring it on! Well, I've never cleared a room so fast. The boys wouldn't even sit in the room with me and hightailed it far, far away. I was left alone to wait for my contractions to be less than 10 minutes apart so I could go to the Hospital. That happened around 10:00 p.m. or so - it was a long day - I knew the rink where HB was playing would be rocking so I called Jim's Taxi and had a drive in the stinkiest, smokiest taxi around to the Aberdeen Hospital - in fact the driver was smoking and yakking up a storm.

Anyway, around 2:30 a.m. or so on the 24th, in walks "His Nibs", carrying a large bag of ice chips. I had taken all of the Lamaze classes with Alex Keir and one of the ones that Jim attended made note that having ice chips to suck on was helpful during labour. So Jim had whoever stop at a store and pick-up an entire large bag of ice chips. Better still, he was 'IN THE BAG', and smelling almost as good as the taxi. Well, my breathing was so under control that as Jim sat with me, he started falling asleep, which really, really, really bothered me. The nurses made him go to the doctor's lounge and sleep. Thank you. Please don't think badly of Jim. It was 27 years ago. I forgave him a long time ago, and in fact can now have quite a laugh about it. At 5:00a.m. I am pushing in earnest. Jim is awake. We are in the delivery room. It was supposed to be Dr. George MacDonald for the delivery, but he's in Newfoundland, so Dr. Kent Clarke delivered my beautiful son at 5:18 a.m. on June 24th, 1984: Introducing LEE JAMES STEWART, 8 lbs 7.5 ounces.

Back in those days babies were all taken to their mothers at the same time for feeding. I can very clearly remember the first time I heard all of those babies coming down the hall crying, and from my ward bed being able to immediately recognize my son's cry. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

May you all be blessed in hearing a most beautiful sound today that fills your heart with gratitude for everything that you have been given.

Peace,

Emma Lee

Leah Hagerman

2011-06-23T05:47:00.007-03:00

Well, yesterday afternoon a young musician friend of mine made a big sacrifice on my behalf - she donated her incredibly beautiful long hair to Beautiful Lengths, an organization which creates wigs for children. We travelled together with her mom Karen over to Jane's Salon 254 and her sister Holly Lynn met us there. We had fun and laughs and took lots of pictures, which I will post at some point. Now this is a powerful family. I am predicting that their energy is going to make some real differences in this world. Leah is a fabulous musician (saxophone and piano and voice), but music will not be her mainstay, rather her stress relief I think. I believe her sights are set on the health care system, which is thrilling me. She is the NOW, and she is making a decision that I would make if it were 40 years ago and I knew what I know today. Her summer job is at the Aberdeen Hospital. Mentor her well Aberdeen Hospital. Mentor her well. She is our NOW.

Peace to you all,

Emma Lee

The Reason for Hope CD Project Update

2011-06-21T06:54:00.010-03:00

Wow - the team is working hard you guys. This CD comp is going to be extraordinary.

Our last two invitees are on board and I hope I'm not premature in announcing that Matt Minglewood has offered a song, as has Lennie Gallant. Matt's contribution is Brushed By An Angel, and Lennie's is Extraordinary Ordinary Life. You're going to love the CD. All in aid of Metastatic Breast Cancer Research - for the future!!

We are getting very close to manufacturing. We are hoping for an initial release on July 25th in Halifax. I am hoping that H&R Music here in New Glasgow will be my outlet. $20.00 will be the retail price.

I would be remiss if I didn't introduce you to Codapop Recording Studios - it was built on a foundation of an undeniable passion for music, framed in a desire to collaborate with emerging artists. And can I just endorse that philosophy? The project simply would not have been possible without Tammy Milbury and Doug Taylor. It simply would not have occurred. These are the kinds of friends that my Mary has gained along her way.

My goal is $10,000.00 to go to the Canadian Breast Cancer Network for Metastatic Breast Cancer Research. With your help, we will reach that goal. My goal for Pictou County is 100 units. Can you help me reach that goal? I'm thinking Dragon Boat weekend will be our release here in the County. I'm scheduled to sing at the opening, and will be doing Send Someone For Me, the song that is on the comp, and Lennie is the headliner of the 10th Annual Dragon Boat Festival so it really makes sense.

Releases - Halifax - The Carleton on the 25th of July with a spectacular song writer's circle and silent auction (with some Turbine products!) - more to follow, then Dragon Boat - August 5th, and then the Horseshoe Tavern in August for the Toronto acts - later in August. Mary and Dave are there, and Mary has arranged it all, and Lee and Tessa are going up for that and with luck Jim and I will be there too! The Horseshoe Tavern - what a riot!

I hope my Mary doesn't mind me posting this. This project was her genesis and it has become so much more than we originally thought. She has done all of the work on this project - gathering musicians, and friends and songs, and the art work. I'm so proud of her.

Anyway, just inspired to post this so that you guys are aware of what we're doing and of what my plans are.

And of course, I'm getting ready for Saturday's departure to sunnier climes - i.e. Maui. And by getting ready I mean I am resting. A deep tiredness has descended in and around me and I am giving in. I am resting this week big time cause my feet are headed to Maui and my thoughts are thinking of the sunsets Jim and I will enjoy there over 10 days. Wow. How blessed we are that this is happening.

Peace to you all today. I pray that you have projects in your life that keep you excited. Go make a difference - don't think for one minute that you can't - cause you can!

Emma Lee

The Saving of Honey

2011-06-19T08:22:00.007-03:00

Last night I witnessed what I like to call "The Saving of Honey". She's becoming a real dog. Jim and I were invited to Liz's for the most incredible meal and fellowship and laughs with GREAT friends. And it was Honey's first dinner party. Well, she is really settling in. What a lucky little beast she is. As we walked down to the barn to feed the gang before bed, she trekked right along with us, leading the way, and keeping Willis in line. She appears to be very respectful of all of the boundaries that have been drawn for her and I am simply amazed at the change. She's lost weight and even her fur is softer. She knew me though. I know she did, cause she had a little piddle when she first greeted me! So, well done Liz and Rob. She is calmly and quietly becoming a great farm dog. I'm so happy for her.

David and Joan gave us Frommer's Maui 2011 and the recommendation for Mama's Fish House. Stay tuned. We will be giving our review! Can't wait. "If you love fish, this is the place to be". And if you know me, I love fish!!

I found it hard to get out of my bed this morning, cause my bed is simply so comfie. But it's Father's Day and there are cards to deliver to Jim.

Now, I need some God-Talk!

Peace to you all,

Emma Lee

When Love Becomes Palpable

2011-06-18T06:37:00.004-03:00

I mentioned in a post while at the Lodge that I had been seeing some incredible examples of love; and at the time, I wasn't sure how to put these into words. I'll start with what I saw.

There was an elderly couple in the waiting room probably every day that I was there -funny that our appointment times were around the same. The gentleman was undergoing treatment, but his gal was with him for every one. I'm guessing they were in their early to mid-80s. He was very tall and on the thin side I thought, but she fit like a glove next to him. They were modestly dressed. He wore a black fedora - not a real one, but a very cool black felt fedora: on the brim on right hand side, a bright pink feather. I was drawn to that feather. I let my imagination tell me that it was placed there by a loving grandchild.

One day the machine that he was supposed to have his treatment on was "down", which meant waiting. That day was also the day for the weekly doctor check-in. The gentlemen undergoing this particular treatment (probably prostate radiation) all had to drink a certain drink a certain time before their treatment. Because the machine was down, plans were spoiled pretty well all the way around for several guys. So, I overhead the technician saying that Mr. Pink Feather would see the doctor prior to the treatment, in order to keep things moving along.

They were called in. A while later they returned and I was floored. They entered the waiting room, walking around the corner, arms linked together, faces turned to each other, sharing quiet laughter. If I could freeze that moment in time for you: their faces were completely filled with love and light - they were illuminated. You could visibly feel the years of faith and hope and love fill that waiting room. They took their seats, continued to hold hands, and waited for the drinking orders and then the treatment, by which time I was gone. I found myself in awe of Mr. Pink Feather and his Gal.

I ran into them again a few days later. He had changed the feather to a red one, so the name changed as well. I can just see that grand daughter changing the feather.

The same day that Mr. Pink Feather allowed me to fill my heart, another family arrived. The father was in a wheelchair and was quite ill and quite despondent. With him was his wife and their daughter and her husband: a well-established family, he being in his 70s I would think and the daughter and her husband being well established as well. The man was despondent. The man was ill. I understood. They settled quite close to me as there were no other spots in the waiting room and so I had a front row seat into the exchanges between the man and his wife. The care and concern and love again was palpable. My heart was becoming quite full. I had to take care as I laid on the radiation table and allowed those beams to enter and give me some quality of life because tears were welling.

When love becomes palpable. Oh that it could be that way every day when we share ourselves with the world.

Today there is a mix of blue, clouds and probably rain. Yesterday I planted a salsa garden - love homemade salsa - peppers, tomatoes, etc. Then sat in the back 40 and watched the world go by. It was absolutely heavenly.

Have a fabulous day. Enjoy some love and peace!

Peace,

Emma Lee

We Can Make A Difference

2011-06-17T19:12:00.003-03:00

It is an unusual time for me to be posting. But, I just had a crazy thought. We're really close to booking our trip - still investigating so many options, etc., and waiting to hear back on one last option before we decide, but it occurred to me that I would love to meet Dog The Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth and their Posse. I know that sounds crazy. It sounds really, really crazy. But I think it would be good for me.

Since DTBH started on A&E, he, The Dog, has been an inspiration to me. He and his family are Christians and not afraid to put it out there. They practice their spirituality. I find their exploits interesting and entertaining, and yet very touching at the same time. On television, they appear to have real/genuine concern about the lives of the people they are challenged to find.

Tonight, I sent a message on their message board; if I do get to Hawaii, to Maui, which is where we are hoping to go, I want to meet The Dog and Beth and their Posse.

I like people who make a difference - who want to make a difference. You are those people too. Go Make A Difference - We Can Make A Difference.

Peace,

Emma Lee

THANK YOU!

2011-06-17T06:21:00.002-03:00

I'd like you to imagine you are holding the biggest envelope you've ever held - maybe 3' x 5'! It will take the work of three of you to actually be able to open this envelope. It is yellow and is addressed to The Good People Who Supported Emma's Excursion Of Hope! Okay - so, between the three of you, open the seal, and pull the card out of the envelope - give it a good yank - the card too is yellow and has the words Thank You emblazoned on the front. Now, get ready, and open the card: can you see it? Light, love, hope, joy, fireworks, sparklers, fireflies come flying out - for you - to fill your heart with my thanks for the most incredible concert, fundraiser and dessert party ever. $6,063.75 was delivered to me. Can you believe it? Indeed a wonderful vacation awaits me, thanks to you my friends! I wish you all the peace of Christ. Emma Lee Stewart and Family

The Results Are In!

2011-06-16T13:27:00.003-03:00

Are you ready? DRUM ROLL PLEASE:

Proceeds from Sunday's concert - EMMA'S EXCURSION OF HOPE:

$6,063.75.

Hawaii, here we come!

Peace and THANK YOU

Emma Lee

The Results Are In!

2011-06-16T13:26:00.001-03:00

Oh my. Are you ready? DRUM ROLL PLEASE

The Results Are In!

2011-06-16T13:26:00.000-03:00

Oh my. Are you ready? DRUM ROLL PLEASE

Two Great Shots!

2011-06-16T07:25:00.003-03:00

So the first pic is Honey and I - the day I said goodbye to her, before Maritime Conference. The second was taken yesterday at Her Honour The Honourable Mayann E. Francis, Lieutenant Governor of Nova Scotia's Garden Party at Government House. Two great shots.

Home again, home again, jiggidy jig. I'm resting today. Aredia tomorrow.

Peace,

Emma Lee

Quick Check In

2011-06-14T07:16:00.005-03:00

Continuing to feel improvement from the radiation treatments. So happy about that. One more night here at the Lodge. My room mate, Helen, and I have been having some great chats. The real thing guys. The real thing. I will be happy to keep in touch with her as her journey continues.

Have a great day everyone. I'm going to get lots of rest and reading done today. Going to the Music Nova Scotia meeting this evening. Jim, as Past President, will present the Nomination Report. I am certain there will be a gathering following, probably at the Carleton.

My treatment tomorrow morning is at 7:15 a.m. Then I'll check out and wait for Jim to be ready to get me home. And what a grand way to leave Halifax it will be. The Town Criers are invited to the Lieutenant Governor's Garden Party at Province House. I'll slide in behind them as I have no official outfit, but I'm certainly there as support. I'll wear my pink hat anyway. It should be grand and I am really looking forward to it. I'll take some shots and post one or two.

I hear there may be partial sun for Thursday and Friday. Wouldn't that be loverly?

Peace today and always,

Emma Lee

Umm, There's A Kind Of Glow

2011-06-13T06:08:00.009-03:00

Yesterday was Emma's Excursion of Hope at Trinity United Church. My church family had been wanting to do something for me, since news of my recurrence in May of 2010 and I had been putting it off, I guess, for lack of a better term. Finally, a bit over a month ago, Janice called me and asked if they could move ahead with their plans and I said yes. And then didn't my journey move into the next stage too. So, it could not have been better timing.

I'm finding it quite hard to put into words how I am feeling. So instead I'll tell you what I saw and heard: joy, light and hope in the faces of family and friends; joy, light and hope in the voices of my friends. LOVE. There was a glow in that church yesterday - it was not my imagination. There was a lightness I would call it that I felt even as I walked across the street from my place, and heard the easy chatter of people happy to be entering and happy to be there: anticipating the wonderful music. So I gladly entered this tired old, shaky old body into that glow. I opened my pores and imagined the light entering with each breath. When I heard Jane and Lori and Shaun warming up, I joked that this is a foreshadow of what is best to come.

That light, that glow, was there as nurture for everyone yesterday.

So, here's my thinking. I have three more radiation treatments. Then Jim and I will be home Thursday. I have an Aredia treatment on Friday. I am supposed to see Dr. AJ on the 4th of July, when we will solidify our commencement of Xeloda date - the end of July. After good, honest and open consultation, I am going to ask them to make those decisions for me, knowing this: our window of opportunity to make an actual excursion of hope has to occur before this next chemo starts. I need to regroup - let the radiation work to its maximum, get my health back (don't laugh), and get ready for chemo. This next chemo has to work and it will and I intend to have my body ready for it. Jim has a new group of students joining him the week of July 11th and he has to be back then. So, somewhere between June 27th and July 10th we will be making our excursion of hope - well of joy, light and hope and rest and nutrition and sunrises and sunsets and walks on the beach and holding hands and quiet and meditation and I could go on. Hawaii if we can swing it, with 2 extra travel days built in for me so I'm not bushed when I get back to this wonderful, sleepy little home of New Glasgow, Nova Scotia.

This is what we are thinking.

Peace and light to you all! Bathe in the glow.

Emma Lee

Oyez, Oyez - Maritime Conference YouTube Site Is Up!

2011-06-11T15:51:00.003-03:00

http://www.youtube.com/user/MaritimeConference - this is the Maritime Conference YouTube site and includes a video of the gigantic quilt constructed at this year's conference, as well as my song and a couple of fab songs by the Message. Enjoy!

P.S. Oh, and by the way, Jim Stewart just won the Nova Scotia Provincial Town Crier Championship and the Ambassador Award at the Provincial Competition in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia!!!!!!!!

Oyez, Oyez, Oyez

Emma Lee

Xeloda

2011-06-10T07:41:00.006-03:00

Yup, title says it all. Xeloda will be my next chemo drug, to start mid-July. It's a tablet form and Dr. AJ tells me the gals at Aberdeen Chemo have lots of experience with it. He will give me an initial 6 cycles. Works this way: every 21 days will be divided into 14 and 7 - during the 14 days I will take Xeloda morning and night, on the seventh days my body will rest. Then begin the cycle again. You can google it. Based on everything, this is the best possible drug for me. I qualify for the manufacturer's contribution to the co-pay portion of this drug. Dr. AJ will do all of the paperwork for me. So let it be written, so let it be done.

My meeting with him yesterday was awesome. In Halifax, Dr. AJ is a different man. I had a wonderful triage with his nurse and then I sat with him for the better part of an hour. We talked about everything and he answered all of my questions. It was an enjoyable meeting, not at all like the one I thought I might have. It was cool. I will see him again on the 4th of July.

So, the window for our travel plans is becoming clearer. I don't want to be too far from home once Xeloda starts. I want to be close to medical attention should side effects occur.

Jim was on the path yesterday - McCartney appears to be doing some kind of North American tour. I'm not in a position to make any commitments yet so I had to get Jim to back off. I wish I could loosen the strains of this medical problem on him. I just wish he could be joyful and happy and unfettered with care. I just wish he didn't have to worry about me so much. He's on his way to a Town Crier competition in Yarmouth. I'm going to tell him to forget about me, about cancer, and just be joyful to be with his fraternity of Criers, and cry with joy because that's the best kind of crying. I'm keeping him very close in my thoughts and prayers.

So, it's Friday. Treatment at 12:45. Home at ? Angela Kennedy is leaving the folds of Mac, Mac & Mac today. I'm going to wish her well. She's one dandy girl. Tomorrow Holy Potion is rehearsing and I'm going to the church. Then the sun is supposed to be out. The hammock that Lloyd and Gwen loaned me is calling from the backyard and I will continue to read Pillars of the Earth that Megan loaned to me. Lynn and Linda are picking up a lobster supper for me and dropping it off. Does it get any better than that? Sunday will be a big day. Emma's Excursion at Trinity. My newest family member, my newest great niece might be there! Can't wait. I anticipate musical memories (including baby coos) that will warm my soul in the days ahead.

Peace today,

Emma Lee

i think i am, I Think I Am, I THINK I AM!

2011-06-09T06:37:00.005-03:00

Sorry for any typos and grammar problems - there is a queue (?) behind me!

The night before last, when I emerged from exhaustion, I could feel a difference in how I was feeling. I didn't want to say anything, cause I didn't want to jinx anything. But, it seems to be building. I am feeling a difference. I am feeling better. I'm still swimming, but not so much, and I feel better! Hallelujah to the sky! And by the way, it is not just the radiation - you do know that it has something to do with the prayers, light and positive thought being channeled my way and if you think I don't know you are doing it, you are sooooo wrong. I do know. I can feel it. My sensory perception is on high alert. So thank you.

Today I meet with Dr. AJ, my chemo oncologist. I haven't seen him since early April, so I'm looking forward to that visit. He has a very gentle yet matter of fact approach. Sort of like that teacher that maybe you didn't always want to have to sit down with; or that lawyer who has reviewed your case and is not going to give you the actual news you want to hear; or that employer who might have told you something that perhaps you really didn't want to know; or that significant other that sometimes was delivering some news that wasn't going to sit too well, at first, but then would gradually sink in. He's got me for his patient, along with hundreds of others. He has to deal with me the way he gets me. My health data speaks for itself. He is doing his very best to improve my quality of life and for that I am eternally grateful. But he's going to tell it like it is, and we're going to stand up and put one foot in front of the other and get 'er done!

I am looking forward to getting home for the weekend and back to my diet. The food here is plentiful, but not what I am used to. I miss my fruit smoothies and flax, and beautiful granola that Aileen made for me, and red, red MacIntosh apples at 10 and sweet potatoes and fresh fish and beautiful breads that Karen and Sue make, and avocado and fresh salad and I could go on and on. (Sorry - I haven't been "punked", I've been "clumped".) So this weekend I will enjoy some really fresh food at home and then I only have, according to the currently known plan, 3 more days here next week. When I complete my exit survey, I will include a "blog" on nutritional options, which I am certain they will receive in the spirit intended.

Yesterday afternoon I met up with a long time friend, Sue. She took me out to the most adorable little crepe house on Charles Street. I will return there. Very fresh food and lovely atmosphere. We had a wonderful visit. Sue and I are long time musician friends. It was Sue who introduced me to Youth Forum and Maritime Conference of the United Church of Canada, I can't tell you how many years ago. It was "BL" Before Lloyd even. We had such a blast with the kids at Youth Forum in those days. Such a blast. What awesome times.

I've begun noticing some pretty touching scenes around me between folks travelling together on this journey. The waiting room is a veritable garden of it. I'm seeing some pretty remarkable and tender love being expressed. When I figure out how to describe this properly, I'll try and post my thoughts. This ain't Hollywood folks. This is the real thing. Real tender and caring love, like raindrops on the dessert floor.

Peace to you all today and always. Be happy.

Emma Lee

Just Another Rainy Tuesday

2011-06-07T06:42:00.004-03:00

Sorry for the typos/grammar problems.

Well, here I am at the Lodge in Halifax. I have an appointment in Nuclear Medicine at 7:30 a.m. so thought I would pop a quick update.

Jim is staying at a wonderful place that friends have loaned to us for free. Otherwise he would be here for $55 per night, but it just seems to make sense to do what we are doing. Anyway, that means that I get to meet new people. A wonderful gal shared my room with me last night - she's on the exact same journey - and I mean the exact same journey - we both have mets - liver, bones and brain. Both initially diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006. She's going to be starting full brain radiation. We have a lot in common - a lot. Prognosis-wise I mean. Also, she just got back from 3 weeks in Europe and is filling me in on everything she and her significant other did! Can you believe it?

Okay - what's up with Vancouver? Enough said.

So, bone scan this morning - a dye is injected which is allowed 2 hours to travel throughout the body. Then I will go into the nuclear imaging machine. Should be an interesting story. This afternoon treatment at 2:30 and then a meeting with Dr. Rutledge following treatment. My body will be full of "stuff" today.

I'm not feeling a great deal of difference yet; I can't sleep so I think that must have something to do with the fact that I no longer feel like the old Emma. But as good old Arnold (yikes) would say - "I'll be Back!". And I will be back. My tolerance for stairs and inclines is gone. Pray it will return.

Last night for supper we used a gift certificate that Jim's students gave him for The Keg. I had the most amazing surf and turf and creme brulee for dessert. (Last Sunday, Aunt Lil told me to have cheesecake everyday, but I just couldn't refuse the brulee. Sorry Lil.)

Alright, I left the windows opened last night so I could hear Halifax around me. It wasn't too bad. The birds still wake-up at the same time; but there are a lot more weird noises. I don't mind. There was a lovely cool breeze coming through - I have two little windows: one at my head and one at my feet. I needed the cool breezes as the hot flushes are rampant. Not complaining. Might mean something is working. I wonder who my room mate will be tonight as my current gal is leaving after her appointment today. I will keep in touch wit her. She's from the southshore.

Peace to you all. I pray you will find something to have a great chuckle about today, and share a soul story with a friend, old or new, just to remind yourselves that you're living like you are ready to fly.

Emma Lee

Answered Prayers

2011-06-06T06:29:00.005-03:00

We crested the hill leading to the barn about mid-morning. There were several dogs sauntering around and I spied for one the color of honey. There was a Corgi there that confused me for a second but then I spied her. Liz called her name. She looked up the hill. I waved and cried out. She started up the incline, crouching as she always did when she was getting excited to meet someone she knew or challenge a dog she didn't know - that attitude - but then an air of recognition and full steam ahead. As we knelt together, there were whispers of whimpers, from both of us, and then off to see and cuddle Jim and then off to show off.

I sat and watched as that little dog became a part of the pack, roaming around with out a leash, being a bit bad to Oliver, but I think she was indeed showing off. She jumped up in my lap a few times and I got to stroke her and smell her, which I loved.

I feel so great and blessed that this has worked out for her and for me. I simply am not able to care for her as is needed. What a great treat for me to see it all unfolding in real life.

Thank you Liz and Rob. I safe this for pretty special things - but I think you deserve the Order of Canada! Gems.

Another prayer was answered yesterday when Aunt Lil and Susan dropped in. Jim's Ross Clan delivered the most incredible messages of hope and love. "If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's this: whatever comes, you won't be alone. You'll have thoughts and prayers surrounding and protecting you every step of the way. So just picture yourself right there in the middle of a big circle of caring . . . because that's where you are and there's no safer place to be. With an Everest of love from your Ross Clan". I know there are family involved that perhaps Jim doesn't even know - and I certainly don't know. My hope meter was charged - our hope meter was charged.

Off to the City, with my hope and my angels and another prayer for feeling better!

Peace to you all,

Emma Lee

The Gang From the MidTown

2011-06-04T11:47:00.002-03:00

From left to right: Lee, Tessa, Mary, Dave, Reg, Joan, me, Jim!

Good Morning New Glasgow

2011-06-04T06:21:00.008-03:00

Well, I'm thinking of the teams over at the Parkdale complex, having been up and about all night in this kind of dreary weather. It's cool and damp and they are indeed true heroes. I hope everyone faired well last night. They raised a lot of money. It would be great to hear the final tally. All funds will go to the Nova Scotia Division of the Canadian Cancer Society and be used here in NS for a variety of needs. Awesome, awesome, awesome. I was very proud to be a part of that opening last night. I hope I left some hope and inspiration on that field.

We have been busy. All of the plans that I set for these past days were met, the most important one being that my children and their significant others were present, and I mean present, with me and Dr. Rutledge for my initial consult before beginning full brain radiation. I am thrilled that was able to happen. I know the kids felt better and lighter when they left the hospital to journey to their homes. Now when they think of me they know where I am, safe in the arms of medical help.

And we had a fabulous and fun meal together at the MidTown and I was able to meet all of Jim's friends - the gang that support him. More on support for the other spouse later. Jim works in Halifax. He shares a kitchen with virtual strangers. So he eats at the MidTown and has developed a fraternity (I will call it) with folks there, including staff and customers. I hear all the stories and it is a part of his Halifax life and routine. They go to sporting events and watch the playoffs and tell tall tales, and laugh, and support each other. What would he do without that? He doesn't have that network in New Glasgow. When he is home, it is all about us - well me - well it used to be all about Honey - but now it is all about me and us and trying to make our home the most comfortable we can as we deal with this reality.

So, at the MidTown there was a great picture taken and I will find it and get it posted. Of course my camera quit as I was showing Dave's mother Joan pictures of our trip to Scotland last year. Dave MacMichael is my daughter Mary's significant other. His parents Reg and Joan joined us for dinner. With Lee was Tessa Morse, Lee's significant other. Lee and Tessa are vegetarians and work out like mad, but I understand the nachos - the large size - at the MidTown filled the bill for them. Everyone else had fish and chips, which I also enjoyed and it was too much to finish.

We met for "breakfast" at Cora's the next day and Dave delivered homemade shortbread that Joan had made for me - and it is the most delicious shortbread ever! The real deal.

Also, Mary and I met with Tammy of Codapop, for a marketing and production meeting on The Reason For Hope CD compilation project. Oh my. Very exciting. And we just landed our last two contributors. My goal is to sell 100 units here in the County - and I will be calling on people to support this project. Our goal is to raise $10,000.00 to go to metastatic breast cancer research. My friends at the Canadian Breast Cancer Network will receive the funds and get them into the right hands. There will be a release at the Carleton in Halifax, at Glasgow Square and in Toronto. Lots of work to be done. This will be a big focus for me. We're on it - you're going to love the compilation - 15 artists - big variety - and great songs at a reasonable price with funds going to help the 25% of women who go one to develop this hideous disease.

Ok - and the concert is coming up on the 12th. Okay that's enough for now.

Rest is calling. I have my medication calendar that Dr. Rutledge made for me - steroids to get me through radiation as some of the tumours may continue to swell for a bit, and then get me weaned off. I start that cycle today. Good. The pills make me shake inside. Might not see it outside, but I can sure feel it inside.

Sing With Me:

When you move in right up close to me
That's when I get the shakes all over me

Quivers down my backbone
I got the shakes in the knee bones
Shivers down my thigh bones
Like I'm
Shakin' all over

That's what happens when you say goodnight to me
Bring this feeling all inside of me
Quivers down my backbone
I got the shakes in the knee bones
Shivers in the thigh bones
Like I'm
Shakin' all over

Peace to you all today - please look for inspiration and when, not if you find it, share it with those you love!

Emma Lee

Quick Addendum

2011-06-01T03:05:00.003-03:00

Mable dropped by on Monday too. It was an exciting visit. She delivered a poem that she tells me I was the inspiration in her being able to complete. It arose out of our sing-along JC Superstar day and in typical fashion, when the spirit calls me to move, I do. It is a quite a poem, a tribute to a friend she lost to ovarian cancer. She also gave me flowers and delivered a beautiful and most huggable teddy bear, another poem, and her own great soul story. So thank you Mable for your visit and kind heartedness. Just had to mention that.

The Road Ahead

2011-06-01T02:49:00.004-03:00

Well, it is very early morning, but I thought I would post something now, since I'm up! The past few days have been a whirlwind. Maritime Conference was such a wonderful experience, I am just so happy that I was able to take part. And then home again, and all of the little details to get worked out and ready for the next part of this journey. I've had so many lovely visits and calls and emails and trips to the dentist and vet and backyard hammock and laundry and wonderful meals and time with Jim and Mary and Dave and Lloyd and Gwen and Megan and her mom and Lynda, and the new Puff and Boobadee and time alone. Whew! Oh, and my fair share of meltdowns, which I just let happen cause there's no stopping them, but I think I'm getting that out of my system for now. You know, when you keep yourself in a vacuum, it is easy to stay strong. But when you surround yourself with your loved ones and dream of the futures yet to come, it is obligatory that the tears flow as you pray for love and happiness in their futures.

The gang is meeting up tomorrow night for dinner at the MidTown. Jim's fave restaurant in Halifax. I will get a picture and post it. We will be meeting Dr. Rutledge before my first treatment and moving on from there. I am hoping I will begin to feel results immediately following the first treatment. Cross your fingers for me. Then they can start to wean me off these incredible steroids, which I really believe are a major contributing factor to my new sleepless state! Only sleep when totally exhausted and then awaken by crazy, horrible dreams. These days are numbered.

I went for a couple of small neighbourhood rambles yesterday, wondering where I am going to find my inspiration now that Honey is in the Pictou County boondocks - and by the way - she is flourishing and behaving like a real dog - part of a pack, respectful and happy. She is running and off leash and it is an absolute miracle. I am so happy for her. Puff is kind of taking her place in the inspiration department, and is starting to stick to me like glue too. Who knew? Puff is a beautiful boy - Mr. Puff, Puff Diddy, Pufferdoodle - you get the drift!

Alright. I'll be in touch. Take care of yourselves. Write your own soul story - cause your stories are awesome and important.

From Now On will be up on the Maritime Conference site very soon! We recorded it last night - just a simple easy recording - but Jim and Mary and Dave are all on it!! Yay. If Lee and Tessa would have been here, they would have been too! (And Gwen and Vicki and Lloyd and Kirby.) I am so happy about that, laughing on the inside. Good for you guys.

Peace to you all! Maybe see you at the Relay on Friday night.

Emma Lee

Puff's A Boy!

2011-05-30T08:21:00.004-03:00

Puff is a boy. We took her to the vet - well Jim did - this a.m. and indeed what was once cradled, cuddled and cooed as a girl was revealed to be a boy, making all of her/his behaviours now quite understandable. Talk about mistaken identity. Poor little thing! It's very awesome though, cause he's able to come home this afternoon. No wonder he and Boobadee were having problems.

I'm home and reflecting on all of the kindnesses shown to me over the past days, and all of the work of course. I used up a lot of "emergy", but I believe it has come back to me two-fold.

My thoughts are too scattered to continue.

More before I leave for Halifax.

Peace to you all today in the midst of your lives. Write your soul story!

Emma Lee

From Now On, Day 3

2011-05-28T13:57:00.005-03:00

We started early again today, with our final Taize-style worship at the Chapel. Okay - the heat was on. We needed it today, but had to open the doors to allow for air circulation and funnily enough nature just came right in to be with us. Nature's sounds, for me, filled the silences between the verses and sat with me during prayer.

My drum was then unpacked and taken to the drumming circle, which included just enough drummers, a tambourine, and some different patterns to follow, relaxing and smiling. A lovely setting of Exodus was our soundtrack and voices were raised without accompaniment nor pitch - but we did great. The future quilt pieces were delivered as part of the large past, present and future patchwork quilt that is being assembled. Amazing. I will post pictures once they are on the website.

Then rest.

This afternoon we will have an hour long choir practice for tomorrow's service. Bonnie, my friend, is being ordained. Karen is coming up for the rehearsal today. Trinity Jims are here, and gals that came from Amherst for the Julian service gave me an amazing prayer shawl and card. I'm soaking it all up. I am so happy I am here, where fear is overcome.

And rest.

We are singing an awesome Anthem called Give Us Your Peace. Couple of little tricky parts to keep us on our toes. It will be an amazing music team tomorrow: our team of Lloyd, Gwen, Kirby and me, The Message, and about 50 or so basses, tenors, altos and sopranos, and we will do the full From Now On as the final hymn, and then sing the assembly out (1000?) to the final refrain of From Now On - From Now On, love's the gospel that still guides us; From Now On - trust with faith the truth will find us; From Now On, the bright light of hope (my hope) shows God still knows the way. So how can we go wrong? From Now On. I have a feeling that song is going to be accompanying me into a few treatment rooms over the coming weeks. I have another song I'm going to work on with Karen, maybe starting Monday afternoon - see how tired I am. No need to rush. My Mary will be visiting too.

How can we go wrong?

Peace,

Emma Lee

The Tantramar Winds

2011-05-27T13:33:00.004-03:00

Winds - not breezes! I would almost say in the early, early morning, the winds of God. At least that is how I felt. So many questions swirling.

We made the trip in record time yesterday, following a bunch of friendly and happy goodbyes with Honey. I did take some shots and will post next week. I miss her but this is all for the very best for all of us. I'm trying not to think about it really.

The sun came out as we crossed the New Brunswick border! The sun, blue skies, heat and black flies. Wow.

So, I was (I'm going to use this word) trepidatious about my song being sung, since Lloyd and I have only ever rehearsed it together - I had no idea how a group would react. (Can I tell you that the worship team are absolutely lovely people who love the song?) Our first worship was incredible. Last night, when we started to pick-up voices for our choir, we started to sing From Now On and I think it's going to grow wings. Although I had my back to the congregation, choir members are telling me the congregation is singing!! The congregation is singing!! Thrilling beyond words. So, thank you God. And, bonus God, the choir sounds sweet, just like I always imagined.

We had a beautiful hymn sing in the chapel this morning: an amazing little structure with the most inspiring stained glass. Holy. A place to draw in. The quiet is calling and answering at the same time. I arrived there after I had a little ceremonial walk, thinking about Jim and Honey in New Glasgow having their little farewell together.

Now, rest is calling. I don't know what is happening in my body but things are afoot. But, I could be sitting at home right now, worrying or anticipating or whatever, and instead, I am here, in the midst of the spirit, with the winds of the Tantramar Marshes and the sweet sounds of the choir and the birds and the congregation. And caring friends. I will continue to put my feet up and look forward to all of the opportunities I will have to sing with the choir and the congregation. Life is grand in those moments - no worries, no fears, no problemos!

Peace today,

Emma Lee

Morning Walk With My Darling

2011-05-25T06:26:00.005-03:00

It was a grey one, and a slow one, but me and my darling had a little walk this morning, an early one. It's recycling and garbage collection day in our neck of the woods and despite everything (like no visible sunrise) the folks are out and about early and getting the world cleaned-up, house by house. I think I slept a bit last night - at least I missed Idol and Dancing with the Stars (or whatever); I know that Puff was pretty active, coming to check on me quite a bit. She likes to snuggle. She'll be moving next week. I did wake up for some of Jimmy Fallon, but quickly turned the world to black and asked the angels to come and comfort me. They did. I was told that all I have to do is ask - an elderly, wise lady told me that. Whenever you need their help, you just ask and they are there. I've put that into practice. Tomorrow I'll walk my darling again, cause I'll be leaving for conference and she will be in the boon docks of Pictou County by the time I get back on Sunday. Having fun I think. Loads of room to run, other dogs to terrify and get used to. Now when I tell her that Liz is coming, she's up and alert and runs to look out the back door. So, the magic is working. (She kind of acts the same way with Lloyd, but that's another story!)

I'm feeling terrible to be frank. I'm quite wobbly and will be taking life at a snail's pace over the next few days, being in the moment and sitting as much as necessary. Singing to my heart's content with any luck. I've found now that the tamoxifen is out of my system, it has let something in my voice come back to life and I am thankful for that. A song that I wrote will be used for the conference theme - Lloyd has been incredibly helpful in getting it transcribed to a readable musical format for the choir and the words will be displayed on the power point. It's called: From Now On, representing the past, present and future of our Church. Honey and I wrote it during our wintry walks these past months. God still knows the way, so how can we go wrong? Anyway, I will be tired, but a good tired, and then ready for treatments to begin next week. I wonder how long it will take before I begin to feel a bit better? So, when you ask me how I am, please excuse me if I tell the truth - terrible, but fighting it with every ounce of hope I have!

Lee has loaned me a laptop and I am hoping I can get it working if there is free wireless. If not, I shall post tomorrow and then not again until next week. I thank you all for your continuing support. It means the world to me.

I shall be opening the Relay for Life on Friday, the 3rd of June. That is something I shall be doing. The foot soldiers on the streets raising funds right now for Cancer-related initiatives are my heroes and I want them to know that. And Mary is putting the final touches on The Reason For Hope CD project, with net proceeds to go to metastatic breast cancer research. I am in discussions with the Canadian Breast Cancer Network to have them put our net proceeds - $100 or $1000 or whatever we can raise, to the best possible usage. It's going to be an amazing CD. We're waiting on funding to finalize. I am hoping to have a release here in New Glasgow, in Halifax and in Toronto. Who knows? A lot of young bands (who need to hear this message) and then stalwarts like me and Doris!

Anyway, that's enough for now. I had a great letter from Aunt Shirley yesterday: a beautiful handwritten letter, full of love and stories of her family. Let us all write a beautiful handwritten letter today to someone.

Peace to you all.

Emma Lee

Looks Like Wednesday June 1st for the first Treatment

2011-05-24T16:01:00.003-03:00

Just spoke with Dr. Rutledge. Looks like we will target next Wednesday, June 1st for the first treatment. I will not need to have a mask prepared - they will use the anatomy of my skull. Dr. Rutledge feels sure I will be the star at the Clinic! I will work towards doing that very thing!

Cutting back on the steroids as I haven't slept for hours and hours.

Thank you folks.

Peace,

Emma Lee

P.S. Honey's transition has begun! She like Liz a lot.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

2011-05-22T07:05:00.005-03:00

It occurred to me over the past few days - okay I know I'm slow - but that my name has become associated with "hope". Believe it or not I'm very pleased about that. There are two roads we can travel when we are facing news of this sort, and I hope you never have to face these issues. I was reminded of that last week during our Julian of Norwich service, and I am going to share these words of my worship team mate:

"Here is what I do know. I know that I have a choice between hope and despair when viewing the world and my future. How do I decide between them? I choose the one that brings the most joy, the most healing, the most compassion to my life and to the world. In despair I’m no good to anyone. So let us hold Julian’s mantra in our hearts: All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well."

So, when it occurred to me that Hope and I were beginning to merge, I thought of those words and how true they are to me. Oh, don't be fooled. I can easily fall into the Valley of No Hope, which my former workmates will attest to, before metastatic disease was discovered, and I still can. It is very easy, easy in the dark in the middle of the night, or in the afternoon, or in the morning, but I can pull myself out of it, because I want hope in my life. I want it and need it. And everything that I am going to do is going to lead to it. It would be too easy to give in. I've said it before.

I am going to post my picture with Marie again. I think I posted it before. Once treatments start I will try and keep up with my blog, but I understand there may be cognitive issues, I'm hoping there will not. Anyway, I'm posting my picture with Marie again. She is the gal I roomed with in Indianapolis when I attended the metastatic breast cancer conference last October. She had whole brain radiation two years ago and there has been no further cancer activity since. I have had a few email communications with her over the past few days. She is another angel I consider to have found in my life. You are also angels I have found and I need. Thank you.

An update on pets: Liz, Lawyer Liz, good and dear friend Liz, will take Honey for respite. I have full and complete comfort with this arrangement. Liz is an animal whisperer and has always been since I have known her. The transition will take place over this coming week and will occur before treatment begins. Mary is looking for a home for Puff. I will keep Boobadee, my faithful little gal with me. One little animal angel should not be a burden for me and will allow me to continue to see the wonders of God in an animal, and to be able to talk to her and sing for her.

More later. I'm getting it together, but emotionally am still shakey. I'm much better than I was. Lee is home until mid-afternoon. He arrived yesterday and we are all feeling much more hopeful. Mary and her fellow Dave will be home next week and if I'm starting treatment, then Halifax will be our base together for a few days.

I am going to rest, as I continue to be dizzy. I will be very careful over the next while until treatment starts. I am the same as I was before the news, but somehow I feel different. I will be reviewing all of the things on board for Maritime Conference and looking forward to that gathering. That is my next goal and I look forward to it with hope.

More tomorrow.

Peace,

Emma Lee

P.S. Just so you know, the chemo I have been receiving was not able to penetrate into the brain, as our bodies have it set-up that way. Our brain is surrounded and safe from anything like that entering our bodies. That is why the cancer was able to continue to work its way there. Radiation will be directed there to destroy the active cancer cells.

Update

2011-05-20T18:16:00.004-03:00

WARNING: This is not for the faint of heart.

Okay. MRI results were delivered today. As you know I was supposed to get an aredia and chemo treatment.

I'm keeping this short.

I was not given chemo. I was given aredia. I was given the results of the MRI.

I will be undergoing full brain radiation in Halifax within the next 2.5 weeks. I'm still going to Maritime Conference next weekend. I'm now on steroids to deal with any swelling.

Breast cancer mets are in my brain. They're small. The Doctor is optimistic. So am I.

We have now entered the next phase. I will be looking for a home for Honey and Puff. Boobadee is ill and we will tend to her. She's a beautiful little angelic cat who has been by my side through much of this journey, but she is now languishing. Honey needs a strong master/leader. I will not let her go to anyone who is not a strong dog master. Without that she will not thrive. She is demanding, aggressive and has a nasty streak, unless you are me. She is very protective of me. I think she is trying to protect me and is aware of what is happening. Puff is a beautiful house cat. She's lovely. She almost talks.

I leave it there for now. I can feel the arms of my family and friends wrapping around me as we continue on this journey. Let the sun shine tomorrow.

Peace,

Emma Lee

Treatment Day

2011-05-20T07:38:00.001-03:00

Well, off to the dentist, and then the Aberdeen Hospital, as it is treatment day again. Time sure flies . . . .

Anyway, it is also the long weekend. Maybe we shall see some sun?

Peace to you all.

Emma Lee

A Big Day For The Stewarts

2011-05-18T12:35:00.003-03:00

Mary Louise Stewart is 25 today - actually at 11:02 a.m. She was born at the Sutherland Harris Memorial Hospital in Pictou, just before they closed their maternity ward. It was a sweet room, with a couple of windows and an awesome birthing bed. When I went in the leaves had not yet sprung; when I came home a couple of days later, the world was in green! Happy Birthday darling girl who is chasing her dreams. She's lived a quarter century. Dream big Little Miss Lou! Listen to your heart.

Last year at this time, her birthday was "ruined" with news of my recurrence. As a family and with my friends, we've made it a year into this journey.

And today, Janice called to tell me that "Emma's Excursion" will happen on June 12th at 2:00 p.m. at Trinity United Church. Trinity is hosting a fundraiser for me to take a trip! I am humbled beyond words as my heart overflows. If I can, I want to go back to England. My trip last year focused on Town Criers and Paul McCartney. I need to see Norwich Church and Edinburgh and Liverpool and Coronation Street! That is me just spewing! I will be happy to get away anywhere with Jim!

The MRI was uneventful It is a very strange musical machine; all those magnets pounding out their different tones and rhythms. Crazy man! At first I tried to think of other things, but had to give in, listen to the tones, hear some harmonies and simply relax. The 45 minutes flew by with the help of great operators. That Aberdeen Hospital!

Anyway, relaxing before tonight's concert. Everything is planned down to the last second. Will report!

Peace today. Happy Birthday is being sung for Mary!!!!!

Emma Lee

Dew On the Nose!

2011-05-17T07:26:00.003-03:00

So, I'm trying to calm my nerves before heading over to the Hospital for the scheduled MRI. Thank you to those who have sent along good thoughts - positive thoughts - healing thoughts. I have gathered those in my memory and will be reflecting upon those thoughts. And upon my hazelnut! Our service this past Sunday has brought me a great deal of strength. I am blessed to have had the opportunity to learn more about Julian of Norwich.

This morning on our walk I looked down at my little companion. Resting on her nose, glistening in spite of the grey skies, were a few drops of dew. I had to stop and admire that art work. She looked up at me with a come on, let's go and so we did. Perhaps I will hold that picture in my mind too.

I have no idea how long this will take. Curiosity, unfortunately, got the best of me and I googled it. Don't. Internet searching is good and bad. So, I am just going to be a good patient; be calm and let them get it done.

Band practice was fun last night too. We are performing tomorrow evening in Pictou and then Thursday evening in Truro, if I can make it! Mr. Barrett says there will be 100 in the orchestra for the finale of Furioso! 100. Wow. Our orchestra will fill the Marigold.

Have a good one.

Peace, Emma Lee

Honey On The Island

2011-05-14T07:43:00.005-03:00

So, it is still raining.

This past Thursday saw Honey on an Island adventure. The last time she was in the car for any where near this amount of time was when she accompanied us to Stan Rogers Folk Festival in 2009. On that journey, she threw-up 7 times on the way to Canso and fewer on the way home. She's not a dog that really, really enjoys the car. For example, shaking the car keys does little to entice her to the door. But I enjoy her being there, so into the car she went, with her blanket and a doggie survival kit. We were on the road shortly after 7 a.m., headed to the Caribou Ferry Terminal. As we crested the hill leading to the terminal, I remarked, is there still ice in the Strait? No, my dear, those are white caps. Oh. Our car was loaded with the other few cars into the belly of the Confederation and we readied Honey for a walk upstairs; only to find a sign with a black dog and a strike through it! Yikes. Back to the car, and I ran away, but could hear her barking amid the roar of the engines on that glorious ferry. Anyway, didn't really ever get my sea legs, as it was a rough ride over. As we drove towards Charlottetown, the sky almost lightened, there were even little spots of blue! Honey spent the majority of the time in the car with a quiet pant on, never really relaxing.

I was able to visit with my Aunt Olive and Uncle Wesley in Summerside. They are now in an assisted living space, being in their 90s, and being incredibly inspirational for me. Olive battled, successfully a first round of breast cancer only 12 years ago or so. While there, I ran into my cousin Eric and I was able to then go to the family home and visit with Eric, his wife Kim and their daughter Jennifer. Then it was off to find Lee, which we did with no difficulty. Honey was very, very pleased to see him. We had lunch together at his place and then Lee took us on a tour of all of his significant places in Summerside. Once that was through, we headed to Cavendish beach via Kensington/Stanley Bridge. It was a lovely drive, and it is indeed a beautiful Island, even with grey skies. When we landed at Cavendish, another car pulled up with a couple of young lads. They were determined to go swimming. I took pictures. It was cold. The ran screaming into and out of the ocean! Leaving the beach, there was a fox ambling along the small highway. I didn't have time to get a picture or to let Honey get a sniff. Bah. Then off to Charlottetown, where Tessa was destined to meet up with us for supper. We found the coolest little shop and I found two new summer hats for my collection. We had coffee, toured Charlottetown and stopped in to see if Aunt Shirley was home; but she wasn't. I left a note for her in her mailbox.

Finding a parking space for supper turned out to be fun. It seems Thursday night is a vibrant night in downtown Charlottetown. But, we were settled before we knew it in a funky little pub; Tessa arrived; we had a fabulous meal, some more pictures, and then it was time to say goodbye for now, gas up and head back to Scotia Nova (as I've heard it called). Gas is considerably cheaper on the Island, and now in New Brunswick as well.

Anyway, what a great trip we had. I hope to get over again and am in fact searching out Stanley Bridge which is absolutely delightful. I could see myself resting there for a few days.

Yesterday was rest day. Today is rehearsal; bass practise; and rest.

I had a call from a friend and a request from a friend yesterday that continues to fill my heart to overflowing. I will continue to digest it and will give you more news on this soon.

A brain MRI has been scheduled for this coming Tuesday. I've had a couple of weak spells, and pain, and so let's get to the bottom of this so we can deal with it as it has to be dealt with!

Get 'er done!

Okay. I know it is still raining and grey. But we are here, and we have each other, and we can be present with each other and we can still rejoice in the fact that somehow, our prayers are answered. And we still have the chance to be kind to one another. And we can still share a laugh, in spite of the weather.

Peace today,

Emma Lee

Had To Share This

2011-05-10T09:43:00.003-03:00

Well, this weather. I have found the last few mornings I am brightening my living area with candles, which include the Hope candle from Shaun, along with one from Mary and one in a lantern given to me by the congregation last December. It is simply so dreary outside I need this extra light and it does seem to hold something extra. This morning, I set the stage for my meditation time, with Honey trotting beside me. Everything was set and today I decided to use the Doreen Virtue CD loaned to me by Kate. I hit play and headed to my comfie couch and quilt. Honey headed along with me. I rested. Honey jumped up to rest with me as the words "Breathe in and out very deeply as you begin to open up to the healing energy of your Divine light". Honey just couldn't get settled. She jumped down, trotted into her kennel, retrieved her favorite blanket, dragged it over to me, jumped up, blanket carried and pulled up by her mouth, cuddled, snuggled and settled. Together we watched as the candles flickered, listened as we were both reminded how very much we are safe and we are loved, breathed deeply, and gave thanks.

Peace today,

Emma Lee

P.S. Honey slept in until 6:45 a.m. this morning and somehow I don't mind the smell of wet dog. M

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-09T08:32:00.004-03:00

I'm a day late, I know, but I wanted to send these greetings out to all of my mother friends. You have achieved remarkable success. The greatest success there is I think. And it is completely, absolutely and unconditionally free.

I received wonderful wishes from both of my children by phone, and they sent gifts. Beautiful roses and a card and call from Lee; a parcel from Mary, which included organic dark roast coffee, seeds for plants that attract hummingbirds and butterflies for my garden, tea, a necklace and earrings and a card. I will be seeing Lee this Thursday, if all goes well. Honey is going on a road trip! More later, as the date approaches.

Yesterday was eventful. At Church yesterday morning we sang River in Judea, which is a fabulous gospelly-type anthem. To me, the words speak of music we make and in the world around us; how music can offer peace and hope. Indeed. Oddly though, as the service progressed, I was feeling more and more unwell. By the time I got home from church my fever was around the 100 degree mark. To the couch, where worries started swirling about missing the Carillon concert. I medicated myself and waited. I called Karen and told her that I would do my best to be there for 3. I arrived at the Church at 2:58. I did the concert and was back home before 4. My concert hat, scarf and clothing were fever-drenched. But I did it. And I am so glad. I think we sang well. I believe it was beautiful and rewarding. The audience was lovely and appreciative. The house the good.

So, today, it's raining again. We must need the rain. It will be an easy few days while I get ready to travel to Prince Edward Island - The Island. I love The Island!

Peace to you all. Find some music that inspires you. Listen to it at least twice. Build up your hope and resolve. Travel through your day humming or whistling that song!

Emma Lee

Emma Lee Stewart @ Codapop Studios

2011-05-07T08:17:00.000-03:00

And All Manner of Thing Shall Be Well

2011-05-06T09:10:00.005-03:00

Myself and Mary WC are responsible for contemporary worship at Trinity on May 15th. Our theme is Julian of Norwich. Now, I was somewhat familiar with Julian from previous English lit classes, but those books are left to be dusted off somewhere. Anyway, Mary and I were working previously on It's A Wonderful Church, and the Julian idea came up as something we would like to dig deeper into following Easter. So we are. And it is good. Gwen loaned me a book by Ralph Milton, which is a fictional account of Julian's life, and I am almost finished reading that. I also had the Library find me another book by Milton called The Essence of Julian.

If you have the time, and quiet in your life, you might want to check out Julian. She was the first woman to write a book in English! Pretty amazing. She was born in 1342 in Norwich, England. A lot of her writings are tough, but amazingly enough, relateable today. Although she's writing out of her mid-evil world, I am still finding a lot of ideas that strike a chord with me. When she was 30, she had a very serious illness (of course the plague was wiping out communities all around her) during which she experienced a series of visions. She wrote both short and long versions of these visions from God and at some point she became an anchorite at the Church in Norwich. It's all very interesting. If I ever get to England again, I will visit that Church.

Julian's life was committed to prayer and counsel to those who came to her window to seek her wisdom. On May 15th, we are going to try and share some of her messages, in both word and song. One piece of special music will be Linnea Good's Bells of Norwich, which I find hauntingly beautiful. I will do my best at a couple of monologues. Charlotte is helping with costume and Charleen with set. And of course, Mary will be sharing her knowledge on Julian which is much more than mine, as well as personal reflections on this First Woman of Letters.

"For God is all that is good, and God made all that is made, and God loves every part of it. If you love all people because of God's love, then you love each created thing, because you love the creator. For God is in every person, and every person is in God. If you love in this way, you love all."

Peace today. What's that in the sky? Is it a bird, a plane? No, it's THE SUN, surrounded by the most beautiful blue. The earth will sprout today!

Emma Lee

The Yellow Finches Have Returned!

2011-05-05T07:39:00.002-03:00

We were late on our walk this morning. Perhaps I slept in, I don't really know. I am so tired I don't know whether I slept or not. A great tiredness has descended. I have few commitments today and hopefully Jim will arrive this evening. Four days alone seems to be beyond my maximum.

I am going to visit friends this afternoon. Brenda and Denise. They have been busy, busy, busy, knitting lovely hats which could be used by both hairless and hairfull people. Can't wait to see them. We are going to decide where best the hats should be used; but from the pics I've seen, they could be used by everybody.

As Honey and I trotted closer to Albert and MacLean this morning, you couldn't escape hearing a lot of birds, merrily chirping their "we own the world in the morning" song. So, just like Honey, I am nosey, and I went in search. It wasn't long before we saw a stand of young trees covered in yellow decorations, swooping and flitting from branch to branch. Quite lovely and amazing. The sound track to that song and dance was a most beautiful wind chime with a very deep pitch. I tried to hold that note in my mind until we were home and I could find it on the piano. It matches quite well to a low A. It has a lovely resonance - not tinny, not thin, but deep and rich. So with the birds' song, what a lovely treat early morning.

You might think I am crazy enjoying such things; I probably am, but not as crazy as the fellow I met on the way home having a great, loud, conversation with himself. He would even stop and turn around - so it really was a question and answer, out loud, to the world, with himself. How lucky for me I was holding the wind chime in my mind. He could have been a mime. He could not interrupt that note and I was not tempted to let it go.

Yesterday, I passed a home and on the front step there were blue bags filled with a young person's clothing. My imagination was quickly off on that story but I had to stop it, as I headed to the radio station. I think I had a good experience there. It was hard for me to get grounded however as I was standing on very thick shag carpet, and I wasn't level - the carpet was bunching up under my feet - my feet couldn't feel the floor. I need to have my feet firmly planted on the ground. I need that connection to the earth. So, I did my best, talking with an old childhood friend Don MacKenzie, and I told the truth and shared my story in word and song. The station raised $12,000.00 yesterday for their team. The community responded once again. Let's Make Cancer History!

I'm off to Maritime Conference with Lloyd and Gwen and Kirby and a whole bunch of other people at the end of the month. I am so excited to get away for a few days; without cats and a dog under feet (but I will miss them), and with the opportunity to be in a spiritual place for a few days in a row. My goal is to get this tiredness under control. Must be the Aredia.

Okay. Enough. There is a lovely breeze today; not carrying that extreme dampness and I thank the wind for that. The house will not be cleaned today. I am headed for rest.

Have a great day everyone. Please find something that inspires you. Contemplate upon it and enjoy your life and your loved ones. Cherish it all.

Peace,

Emma Lee

ECFM - 94.1 - Radio for Relay - I'm on at 10:00 a..

2011-05-04T07:30:00.006-03:00

Recent pictures of Mary (blonde), Robyn and Melika in Toronto at Robyn's video shot. Video to be released end of June. But read on . . . .

94.1 FM - Radio today - 10:00 a.m. Raising funds for Relay for Life - Canadian Cancer Society.

Carillons had a fabulous rehearsal last night. The concert this coming Sunday is going to rock (in a beautiful sounding way!). If you need tickets - $10.00 - what a deal - three different groups - The Pictou County Community Orchestra, St. James Brass Quintet and The Carillon Singers - won't be long- with intermission you will be out by 4:30 - starts at 3. Lovely treats at intermission too! Treat yourself. Treat your mom. Get out of the house for a couple of hours.

Email me if you want tickets - emmalee@eastlink.ca

The early morning world still belongs to the birds! Emma Lee

Four Days Since Last Treatment - What In The World!

2011-05-03T06:59:00.009-03:00

It is the day after our Federal election. I have yet to turn on the TV or open the paper, but hear from Don Connolly that one headline at least reads Great Big C.

A miracle of sorts occurred following my last treatment - that of pain relief. I averted the fever which I felt coming on, and rather had a few days of discomfort, (well the discomfort continues) I am still taking the pills and they are working at keeping discomfort to a dull roar. It is indeed a true miracle! Yay!!! I Say Yay!!! Anyway, over those days I also had the chance to run the bass parts to some of the New Horizon songs scheduled for their concerts in Pictou on the 18th and in Truro on the 19th. What a blast! Fingers are crossed.

I don't need to tell you that the world is askew. Besides my miracle noted above, I experienced another bright moment recently, that being the April 29th, 2011 nuptials at the Royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton: I'm including the full sermon "Be Who God Meant You To Be", delivered by The Bishop of London, the Right Reverend and Right Honourable Dr. Richard Chartres:

‘“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

‘Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.‘William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

‘And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

‘A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

‘It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

‘You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

‘We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

‘Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

‘“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,
Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

‘As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

‘As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

‘I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

‘God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

‘In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

‘Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.’

I don't know about you, but I could read, and re-read these words, and I am trying to put them into the context of what is coming out of the US.

I will be on CKEC/East Coast FM tomorrow morning between 10 and 10:30 as part of their Relay for Radio - raising funds for the Relay for Life.

Okay, time to listen to the news. It is a miracle we continue to exist on this planet. . . .

Peace to you all today,

Emma Lee

Treatment this coming Friday.

2011-04-27T07:09:00.003-03:00

Blood work tomorrow; treatment on Friday. Can't see it not happening, although I am desperately tired. I am going to sink into me for the next couple of days to prepare. I will watch the Royal Wedding from the chemo chair.

Nature is bursting. Birds are happy. Music festival is in full swing. The senior piano class yesterday afternoon was amazing.

Have a great next few days. I'll check in the first of next week.

Time for rest.

Peace.

Emma Lee

Photographer from JC Superstar

2011-04-26T16:05:00.001-03:00

Is Mable Latham. I wanted to thank her for capturing our fun! She tells me she had a great time too! I think she did. I heard her singing from the back of the room.

I Like This One!

2011-04-26T11:42:00.003-03:00

Groovin!

Jesus Christ Superstar Singalong

2011-04-26T11:39:00.002-03:00

Lloyd, Gwen, Mary, Jim, David and Me!

Being Present

2011-04-25T07:56:00.005-03:00

Over the past week, I have had many opportunities for quiet, for reflection, and for challenging myself to "be present" in the various moments and activities leading to Easter Sunday. I attended almost all of the Reflections At The Foot of the Cross series, which were inter-denominational. On Thursday evening Holy Potion (without Aileen, but with David and Murray) gathered to lead the music at the evening service, led by the contemporary team of Charleen and Owen, who did a fabulous job. Love One Another was the theme. On Friday morning, Trinity and St. George's gathered together to witness the Good Friday story. Our buildings are footsteps away; our congregations have gathered to witness to our community in outreach, and so worship together is a natural progression. St. George's choir loft is small and we were tightly connected as we sang a Mummer's Carol as our gift of music. Saturday of course was the first Jesus Jam, Lloyd is calling it, which saw us try to sing the score, with abandon, of Jesus Christ Superstar in another small, but lovely church in Alma. Their new set-up is great. And then yesterday morning, we gathered at 8 at the Gazebo at the Riverfront, in nature - a wild and windy day - and we welcomed Easter Sunday. Then worship at 10 and surprise there is a full church!

At all of these times and places, my inner voice, my heart has been urging me to be present, to be in the moment, to take in those moments so that I can recall them during the days ahead when words of spirit and hope are needed. I am profoundly affected by the story that has unfolded over the past days and each time I receive communion my heart just aches. I then call upon my angels to be with me, to be present with me and calm my heart into knowing that God still knows the way.

And, my children both called me and I was present with them during our long distance telephone chats. I also had the chance to have some excellent communications with other folks who are important to me over the past few days and for that I am eternally grateful.

Peace today. It looks like a lovely day. Honey and I will enjoy our walks and I have band practice later on. I will enjoy that and will urge myself to be present - of course I have to be as I count the notes and bars that complete the composition.

Emma Lee

We Did It!

2011-04-23T17:01:00.003-03:00

I am telling you my impression - it was a success - the first singalong Jesus Christ Superstar. Musicians were Lloyd on keys, Gwen on bass and David on drums. We had a jimbay (spelling is wrong) and some other small percussion instruments and there was a good number of folks and friends there. It was fun. And they were singing. We were all singing - with abandon! The singing in I Don't Know How to Love Him was beautiful and inspiring. It all was. Thank you everyone for being there. Thank you Greenhill-Alma. I may have a picture to post in a bit! Another tick on the bucket list!

Peace today. Tomorrow will be coming early!

Emma Lee

Off to Alma-Greenhill United for 3:00 p.m.

2011-04-23T13:03:00.001-03:00