As you know, not only the person affected directly by the disease can suffer throughout this process. All of my family are feeling this pinch. Jim works in Halifax. We are so wishing he was closer to home. Mary is being a beacon of strength, doing a variety of things to keep her busy. My son Lee sees the world through rose colored glasses right now, and he tells me "you're going to beat it". He just moved to Summerside, PEI with his new gal and is on the precipice of starting his new life. And my friends . . . what can I say. I am so sorry to burden them so.
The first part of my treatment is a chemo called Abraxane. I will have 6 of these. The oncologist told me by the time I get to the sixth, this cancer will have learned its way around it; transplant is not an option because it is metastatic breast cancer and neither is radiation an option. At the time I heard that news, I was numb. I thought the doctor was looking at me like I had two heads, apparently not realizing he was the first person to tell me my life was in jeopardy. I couldn't even ask well, what do we do then? I will at my next appointment. I am going out of my way to find out everything I can about cancer and available treatments and am seeking the help of those outside the medical profession as well. My mountain of hope lies in using a bit of everything.
I have been blessed to receive funding to attend a metastatic breast cancer conference in Indianapolis in October. I am more than certain that conference will hold many answers for me.
There is no cure at present. I will spend the rest of my life doing whatever I can to prolong a quality life and await grandchildren (no pressure kids)! I had wanted to have a choir singing night, but those thoughts have not yet finalized in my mind. I know all will become clear with time.
One of Mary's ideas is the evergreen seedlings. They arrived here yesterday. Half will go to Halifax on Monday and half will stay here to go to their adopted homes. Funds raised will go towards alternative treatments that I am now receiving, as well as ones that I hope to be able to receive in the future. From my mountain of hope, I believe I am making headway in finding my path to wellness.
Mary has suggested a $20.00 donation, but she and I have agreed that it is
more important that these little seedlings get to be planted and do their
thing on this earth. It's all about the thought - the support and, without being corny, the love.
Next week is my week leading to treatment and I should be full of "Emergy".
An early July blog entry describes Mary's idea. I have wonderful children. I am blessed in so many ways. Peace to you and your family today.
Emma Lee
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