i think i am, I Think I Am, I THINK I AM!

Sorry for any typos and grammar problems - there is a queue (?) behind me!

The night before last, when I emerged from exhaustion, I could feel a difference in how I was feeling. I didn't want to say anything, cause I didn't want to jinx anything. But, it seems to be building. I am feeling a difference. I am feeling better. I'm still swimming, but not so much, and I feel better! Hallelujah to the sky! And by the way, it is not just the radiation - you do know that it has something to do with the prayers, light and positive thought being channeled my way and if you think I don't know you are doing it, you are sooooo wrong. I do know. I can feel it. My sensory perception is on high alert. So thank you.

Today I meet with Dr. AJ, my chemo oncologist. I haven't seen him since early April, so I'm looking forward to that visit. He has a very gentle yet matter of fact approach. Sort of like that teacher that maybe you didn't always want to have to sit down with; or that lawyer who has reviewed your case and is not going to give you the actual news you want to hear; or that employer who might have told you something that perhaps you really didn't want to know; or that significant other that sometimes was delivering some news that wasn't going to sit too well, at first, but then would gradually sink in. He's got me for his patient, along with hundreds of others. He has to deal with me the way he gets me. My health data speaks for itself. He is doing his very best to improve my quality of life and for that I am eternally grateful. But he's going to tell it like it is, and we're going to stand up and put one foot in front of the other and get 'er done!

I am looking forward to getting home for the weekend and back to my diet. The food here is plentiful, but not what I am used to. I miss my fruit smoothies and flax, and beautiful granola that Aileen made for me, and red, red MacIntosh apples at 10 and sweet potatoes and fresh fish and beautiful breads that Karen and Sue make, and avocado and fresh salad and I could go on and on. (Sorry - I haven't been "punked", I've been "clumped".) So this weekend I will enjoy some really fresh food at home and then I only have, according to the currently known plan, 3 more days here next week. When I complete my exit survey, I will include a "blog" on nutritional options, which I am certain they will receive in the spirit intended.

Yesterday afternoon I met up with a long time friend, Sue. She took me out to the most adorable little crepe house on Charles Street. I will return there. Very fresh food and lovely atmosphere. We had a wonderful visit. Sue and I are long time musician friends. It was Sue who introduced me to Youth Forum and Maritime Conference of the United Church of Canada, I can't tell you how many years ago. It was "BL" Before Lloyd even. We had such a blast with the kids at Youth Forum in those days. Such a blast. What awesome times.

I've begun noticing some pretty touching scenes around me between folks travelling together on this journey. The waiting room is a veritable garden of it. I'm seeing some pretty remarkable and tender love being expressed. When I figure out how to describe this properly, I'll try and post my thoughts. This ain't Hollywood folks. This is the real thing. Real tender and caring love, like raindrops on the dessert floor.

Peace to you all today and always. Be happy.

Emma Lee