Yesterday was a very strange day. Started off really well, as I had scheduled a rest day to make up for the hectic schedule on Monday. I awoke refreshed. Everything I ate tasted great. I found humour around me. I felt more wonderful than I have in days. Things started to sour at the noonish mark for me - but I realize today that it wasn't things souring, it was me, allowing myself to let fear and anger step in and rule my thoughts. Those thoughts then controlled my "emergy" for the day, evening and night. I awoke very eary this morning, having had an unrestful night, but determined to do some inner housecleaning.
I have recently learned that a relative of mine, a young woman, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Jim tells me she is my first cousin, once removed. Okay - I need a primer on all of that. This info was definitely one of the things that precipitated the current episode of fear and anger and the resultant consequences i.e. listlessness, fatigue (over and above the side effects), self-pity, surliness, impatience. Need I say more? At least I was 50 the first time round, and had the opportunity to live a life of love, mistakes, joy, sorrow, attempted dreams and everything else that gets lumped into it.
This morning as I worked to turn the tables on this mindset, my mind returned to 2007 when I was in Halifax receiving radiation treatments. I walked alot, as it was Spring and surprisingly Halifax is quite beautiful in the Spring - especially the Public Gardens and historic Citadel Hill, which both seemed like magnets to my feet. One day walking towards me was a lovely young family: a smart young couple, a little boy and a little girl, happy, dressed-up and excited to be going wherever it was they were going. Could have been a Hallmark picture. Joyous. It made me feel happy just to see them. Then, the little girl tripped and fell, cutting her bare knee under her pretty dress. Joy was shattered, and their day was suddenly altered. As my walk continued, it occurred to me that Life is just Like That. But that thought was followed by another, Emma - if it is happiness you are looking for, look no further than within. I felt it. I had to stop. I had to stop and experience real happiness right there. I should have known that already right? After 50 years? I guess I did know it on some level, certainly having been told that by various sources, but that day, right there, alone on a city street in Halifax, I felt true happiness. I will now add this thought to my daily healing regime.
Another practice in my daily healing regime is chakra clearing. I try to do this every morning, and I can tell you the days when I do not practise it are different. I didn't yesterday, because I felt so great. Well, I did practise it this morning. Here are some key mantras for this day, which will be accompanied by some deep cleansing breaths and quiet solitude. I thank God for Doreen Virtue who shares these words in her book and on her CD "Awakening Your Spiritual Power to Know and Heal". This book was loaned to me by Kate, who just knew that I could benefit. Thank God for Kate:
"I know that I am perfectly safe as I follow my inner spiritual guidance. I allow this guidance to lead me to beautiful opportunities where I share my true nature as a powerful, loving, spiritual being".
"I allow the light of my holy spirit to dissolve away all barriers to Divine wisdom and guidance. I release all fear about listening to my higher self, God and the angels".
So right now and for this day, I am allowing that light . . . . . .
Peace, Emma Lee