Yesterday was Emma's Excursion of Hope at Trinity United Church. My church family had been wanting to do something for me, since news of my recurrence in May of 2010 and I had been putting it off, I guess, for lack of a better term. Finally, a bit over a month ago, Janice called me and asked if they could move ahead with their plans and I said yes. And then didn't my journey move into the next stage too. So, it could not have been better timing.
I'm finding it quite hard to put into words how I am feeling. So instead I'll tell you what I saw and heard: joy, light and hope in the faces of family and friends; joy, light and hope in the voices of my friends. LOVE. There was a glow in that church yesterday - it was not my imagination. There was a lightness I would call it that I felt even as I walked across the street from my place, and heard the easy chatter of people happy to be entering and happy to be there: anticipating the wonderful music. So I gladly entered this tired old, shaky old body into that glow. I opened my pores and imagined the light entering with each breath. When I heard Jane and Lori and Shaun warming up, I joked that this is a foreshadow of what is best to come.
That light, that glow, was there as nurture for everyone yesterday.
So, here's my thinking. I have three more radiation treatments. Then Jim and I will be home Thursday. I have an Aredia treatment on Friday. I am supposed to see Dr. AJ on the 4th of July, when we will solidify our commencement of Xeloda date - the end of July. After good, honest and open consultation, I am going to ask them to make those decisions for me, knowing this: our window of opportunity to make an actual excursion of hope has to occur before this next chemo starts. I need to regroup - let the radiation work to its maximum, get my health back (don't laugh), and get ready for chemo. This next chemo has to work and it will and I intend to have my body ready for it. Jim has a new group of students joining him the week of July 11th and he has to be back then. So, somewhere between June 27th and July 10th we will be making our excursion of hope - well of joy, light and hope and rest and nutrition and sunrises and sunsets and walks on the beach and holding hands and quiet and meditation and I could go on. Hawaii if we can swing it, with 2 extra travel days built in for me so I'm not bushed when I get back to this wonderful, sleepy little home of New Glasgow, Nova Scotia.
This is what we are thinking.
Peace and light to you all! Bathe in the glow.